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Oatmeal Girl
01-29-2005, 10:06 PM
For those married folks out there- how did you incorporate veganism into your wedding? For the singles- how would you do so?

I'm not getting married :) I'm just curious.

Lacykitten
01-29-2005, 11:23 PM
I would say all vegan.

I wouldn't advertise it as such, necessarily, but it would be all vegan, and so amazingly delicious that no one would even think to complain.

Besides, it's my special day, I should not need to be worried about providing dead animal carcasses to my guests. They should come to celebrate my day, not decide based on whether there would be meat/dairy served or not. If that was a deciding factor, they would not be the friends I thought they were.

eta: I have issues with tenses.. lol.. I hope that last part makes sense.

Stitches
01-29-2005, 11:50 PM
Not married and not counting on it, but hell yes I would have a vegan wedding! If anyone doesn't like it, tough, it's my day and they can go visit the open bar if they don't want to eat the food.

walrus
01-30-2005, 01:19 AM
I'm not getting married, but hypothetically if I ever did (because the thought has crossed my mind) it would be completely vegan. In an issue of VegTimes magazine they showcased several vegan weddings, and the meals and cakes looked fabulous. I'm all for it. And what a way to outreach!

thecatspajamas
01-30-2005, 08:15 AM
It's a slight variation of the "It's my party and I'll cry if I want to" line of thinking. If I'm getting married, it's MY DAY DAMMIT. Everyone can go along and be happy for me and my wife, regardless of what's on their plate for ONE STINKING MEAL. Let them stop at McDonalds on the way home if they can't stomach food that's cruelty free and actually good for you.

Marriage is so far from my mind right now, that I probably won't have to worry about this for a while though.

herbi
01-30-2005, 12:28 PM
Yeah, I also have no immediate plans for marriage (so you can come down off the ceiling now, Dandelion... ;) :p) but I'd look at it the same way as any huge expensive fancy party I was throwing-- I'm damn sure gonna be able to eat whatever I want while I'm there (and I'm also damn sure not gonna pay for someone else's torture products), so vegan all the way. But delicious and fabulous and loved by all nevertheless-- cakes a plenty, and "accidentally vegan" stuff that won't freak guests out. And I would certainly accomodate a guest who had food allergies or needed some sort of even more restricted/specialized food, as long as that was also vegan.

misanthropy
01-30-2005, 01:25 PM
Not married, don't plan on it, but if I were doing a wedding it would be ALL vegan (with vegan alternatives to soy or whatnot for those allergic to it).

spacehippy
01-30-2005, 01:41 PM
Yep. It would be completely vegan. I even made my brother promise that if I died, that even the post-funeral luncheon would be vegan.

Emiloid
01-30-2005, 02:31 PM
Yep. It would be completely vegan. I even made my brother promise that if I died, that even the post-funeral luncheon would be vegan.
Good idea! I shoudl do that, too....

Like everyone here so far, I'm not likely to get married any time soon, but unless it threatened the marriage (which is not likely to be the case!), I'd insist that everything be vegan. Like LacyKitten said, I wouldn't necessarily point it out--at least not until late in the meal. Heh heh heh. Let them be pleasantly surprised.

Dandelion
01-30-2005, 06:01 PM
My best friend who is vegan got married and insisted on everything vegan, even the cake!
http://d4v3r5.com/photo_albums/kym_seth_wedding/pictures/dscn1158.jpg

i sat at the table with all of our oldskool friends and they were not exactly looking forward to a vegan meal. They all started loading up on bread and the first entree came out, i think maybe it was a mushrrom stuffed ravioli or something and everybody started poo-pooing it and complained how little food it was. That is until like 7 more courses came out each a very yummy eclectic gourmet entree. Well they all felt stoopid for loading up on bread and had nothing to complain about since it was yummy and plentiful. So they played the spoiled sport and left early opting not to dance and party. :umm: Quite disappointing. :angry2: Many other guest thoroughly enjoyed their food and i bet assumptions altered.

My boss had a wedding and on the RSVP card one of the entrees to choose said "vegan" next to it. I thought that was even a terrific opportunity for many people to at least become exposed to it. Awesome. :thumbsup:

If i were to get married or throw any party you bet it's gonna be 110% vegan. I think it's a good chance for outreach or at least exposure.

Terry
01-31-2005, 09:04 AM
Vegan is good! That's what we seem to have yet to impress upon non-vegans. They seem to have gotten the impression that vegans wear hair-shirts and eat leaves.

I just bought "Sinfully Vegan" this weekend, and my plan is to make some of the recipes in it, and bring them to work (we have a grazing area).

That'll show 'em! :-)

Alfiedog
01-31-2005, 03:36 PM
That cake is absolutely BEAUTIFUL!

If I got married it would be absolutely vegan! It's MY wedding!

JasperKat
01-31-2005, 05:06 PM
Vegan is good! That's what we seem to have yet to impress upon non-vegans. They seem to have gotten the impression that vegans wear hair-shirts and eat leaves.


Are you making fun of my hair shirt? Coz I happen to like it! What do you do with your old hair? Throw it out? :)

Dandelion, that cake looks amazing! I'm so jealous that you got to eat it! I can't imagine leaving a friend's wedding because I didn't like the food. Especially if it was my own fault for being stubborn. How incredibly rude.

-JK

petertheartist
01-31-2005, 10:48 PM
My Wife and I were maried in July, and it was all Vegan! Including the cake. I am lucky enough to live in New York, and had Kate's Joint cater it bufett style. The guests were shocked when the main course came out, they had filled up on the appetiser's while we were out having our photos taken. They loved that so much, that they thught it was the main course! You can't stress it enough, IT'S YOUR DAY DARN IT!!! Even my mother in law (who was paying for it) had to admit that! By the way, we went Vegan on the photos too, we found an all digital wedding photographer. He was so good, our non-veg friends ae checking him out for their weddings!

Dandelion
01-31-2005, 11:23 PM
I've seen SO many friends weddings start with great visions and end up getting stolen by their families. i chalk it up to something i can't understand since i've never been in that situation. maybe it's the money thing- families paying for it etc. I'd rather have a cheap courthouse wedding that's vegan rather than a sooper fancy non vegan one. :p
Ok, that and my house...those are the two situations i won't compromise on. i'm normally more laid back, really ;)

Dandelion
01-31-2005, 11:34 PM
all the food was quite delish. She smartly avoided mocked meats with the catering.

it was hard for me to not hold a grudge against the rude friends. i even supplied the DJ with a bunch of vinyl from the oldskool days so we could all dance and have fun after dinner. i danced alone. :cry: (kidding, i still had fun with those who stayed and danced up a storm)




Dandelion, that cake looks amazing! I'm so jealous that you got to eat it! I can't imagine leaving a friend's wedding because I didn't like the food. Especially if it was my own fault for being stubborn. How incredibly rude.

-JK

FarmerStephen
05-07-2005, 11:44 AM
Definately Vegan, with todays catering, it is so easy to feed omni's vegan and have them go away loving it. I agree with a lot said here though, I think it is a better idea to not let people know about the contents, until after. My sister's wedding was a catered affair for 700 guests, and it was all Vegan, and no one complained. In fact, at the end of the reception, we caught several omnis stuffing appetizers in their purses & pockets. When we told folks everything was Vegan, they were all like huh, :confused: , wah... Of course, a few of those serious 'I'm scared to open my mind to new ideas & change' folks, were like, 'yah, it was pretty good, but you could tell'. Whatever, we all ca'nt be butterflys.......

The most important thing to me though, is the Vegan Honeymoon, lots of good eatin ;) .........

kkohne
05-07-2005, 02:00 PM
I wasn't vegan when I got married so our food was omni. If I was marrying the same guy today, we'd probably do vegan and omni courses since he's an omni. It's OUR day, not mine. :lol:

FalafelsRule
05-07-2005, 05:10 PM
If i am ever fortunate to get married, of course the wedding would be all vegan. It was also be non-religious, and non-formal (hopefully non-formal, that would be up to my partner).

Soleil
05-08-2005, 12:00 AM
Having Doubts about getting married....

What if at your wedding your sister in laws, brother in laws and other close relatives either refuse to eat any of the food or even worse, start making fun of it publicly so everyone else doesnt want to eat it? (they did this at "christmas" dinner we made, which by the way, was all from scratch and took us 2 days to make, all b/c we wanted to impress them! 10 dishes in all. )

I dont think we can keep it from the guests that everything will be vegan. How? the family and cousins and their families etc all already know we're vegan, some of them are already worried that they will have nothing THEY can eat, and we havent even set a date yet!!

KKB
05-08-2005, 12:15 AM
some of them are already worried that they will have nothing THEY can eat, and we havent even set a date yet!!
that's ridiculous! i can't stand omnis who don't think they could possibly survive even one animal-free meal.
they wouldn't respect YOUR lifestyle, wishes and beliefs, not even for YOUR wedding? sad. :worried:

FalafelsRule
05-08-2005, 04:14 AM
I just wouldn't say everything is vegan. All the cakes and snacks would be vegan, but there would be no way they could tell. The people I'd invite, some close friends and work associates already have had some of the vegan things I eat and they like them. I used to cook things for my mom and she loved what I made. I do not think it would pose any type of problem as far as the people I'd invite. I even recently got a co-worker to make his own wheat meat from scratch (I don't even make my own wheat meat from scratch :p )

Tofuy
05-08-2005, 02:19 PM
everyone who knows me knows all the food will be vegan. the hard part will be figuring out how to have people leave their leather shoes, purses, etc at home. when i figure out how to do that, i'll let everyone know.

i imagine it would be harder to throw a large vegan wedding than a small vegan wedding. anyone have experience attending both sizes?

bluedawg
05-09-2005, 07:00 PM
What if at your wedding your sister in laws, brother in laws and other close relatives either refuse to eat any of the food or even worse, start making fun of it publicly so everyone else doesnt want to eat it? (they did this at "christmas" dinner we made, which by the way, was all from scratch and took us 2 days to make, all b/c we wanted to impress them! 10 dishes in all. )awwwww, they suck! here, have some hugs. {{{Soleil}}}

i agree that it would be tougher to pull off a "stealth" vegan wedding when you have built-in hecklers. the not-so-ethical approach would be to lie to them and tell them you decided to have non-vegan food but then of course make sure it's all vegan anyway. that way they can gloat eating their "regular" food, but you know the truth...

otherwise, a heart-to-heart might be in order, if they would go for it. sometimes gently but assertively pointing out how much someone has hurt you (and would hurt you again) is all it takes... but i know sometimes it's a difficult conversation to have, especially if you're worried that they wouldn't be receptive. good luck! it's your wedding and you deserve to have the food you want!

Artichoke47
05-09-2005, 07:54 PM
All vegan, perhaps made by me, though I'm not sure. It seems that some omnivorous catering businesses have trouble cooking vegan food, like they don't know how or pick bad recipes or something. I don't know what's wrong with those people. :rolleyes:

JasperKat
05-10-2005, 02:27 PM
Well, as I'm going through this right now, maybe I can add something. Finding a vegan caterer is hard. We've decided to have a vegetarian reception, with a vegan wedding cake and, of course, one vegan meal for me. We've talked to several caterers and have had reactions from "Oh sure, we can just serve lobster" to "Weeellll....I'll have to ask my boss about that." Point is, no one (with one exception) even knows what vegan is, let alone how to cook vegan meals for 200 guests. Vegetarian, they can just about handle.

There is one company that sounds awesome. They've done vegan receptions before, and can even make a cheesecake for us. However, they don't have their own facilities for the reception and we are having a really rough time finding one that they can cater to. Most banquet hall or hotels require that you use their catering services.

We've decided to just go vegetarian. It's a lot less stress for both of us (he's lacto-ovo anyways) and I'm less nervous about how the food will turn out. I'm okay with eating a less than awesome meal (as it probably will be, since the hall will have to make it for the first time) but I don't want my guests to have something subpar.

Disclaimer: I am not saying that vegan food is subpar, the 5 pounds I've put on since going vegan should attest to that. I just mean that it's reasonable to expect that a caterer would be able to make a better eggplant parmesan that a tvp loaf. We are still looking for both a venue and a caterer, so obviously if we can find somewhere local that can do (and has done) vegan, we'll go with that.

-JK

JasperKat
05-10-2005, 02:31 PM
One PS to my post, I wish we lived somewhere a little more progressive, and maybe we wouldn't have this problem. In a perfect world, I would have 5 vegan-capable caterers to choose from.

I do feel guilt about this. :umm: If we were having a smaller wedding, I would make the food myself, but I can't see making 4 courses for 200 people.

-JK

kikkert
05-10-2005, 02:53 PM
(they did this at "christmas" dinner we made, which by the way, was all from scratch and took us 2 days to make, all b/c we wanted to impress them! 10 dishes in all. )

I empathize with you.... In the past I tried hosting family events but everyone ate before they came or complained about the weird food so I always ended up doing a lot of work just for myself. So for the first time in my life I had a completely vegan holiday meal - Thanksgiving 2004. We were a 'family by choice' - me, my friend and her boyfriend, her friend and husband, and their kids (with kitties and a dog too!) - because we wanted to celebrate peacefully. My friend and I prepared nearly everything from scratch and had some much fun.... and was so good! It's the way I will spend every holiday from now on.


some of them are already worried that they will have nothing THEY can eat, and we havent even set a date yet!!

I agree with the others - that's terrible. And completely not the point of that type of an event. But that's partly why I personally don't see the point of lavish weddings and such - family members expect it to be a group effort and if you already disagree on key issues (such as veganism or religion) it just becomes a mess.

bird
05-10-2005, 03:45 PM
http://www.vegietokyo.com/info4vegie/articles/article3.html

A Vegan Wedding (Special to The Daily Yomiuri, June 29, 2002)

By Hiroko Kato

Baltimore, Md.

On a brilliant Sunday morning in May, about 80 people gathered in a 70-year-old mansion for a wedding. When the bride, Tamara Richter, appeared in her white dress, the guests whispered to each other, "How pretty she is!" The fact that the bride's dress contained neither silk nor pearls went unnoticed, but it was an important point for Richter; who is vegan.

"Many dresses are made of silk and have pearl decorations. Neither are vegan and I wanted my wedding dress vegan. My shoes are not leather, either," Richter, 28, said.

Vegans, or pure vegetarians, eat no foods derived from animals. In addition to meat, poultry, fish, eggs, dairy and honey, they also shun leather, silk, wool and other animal products. People become vegan for various reasons, including health, ecological and religious concerns, compassion for animals and belief in nonviolence.

According to a survey conducted in 2000 by the Vegetarian Resource Group, a nonprofit educational group in Maryland, 0.9 percent of adults, or 1.7 million people, in the United States, are vegan, while 2.5 percent, or 4.8 million, were vegetarian (do not eat meat, fish, or poultry).

Richter became a vegetarian when she was 15 because she thought it was "cool." She cut out meat first, then poultry, then fish, before becoming vegan five years ago. "It was hard not to eat eggs and cheese, even though I knew eating them hurt animals. But thanks to my experience working with vegetarian advocates, I don't have cravings for cheese omelets anymore. They provided me with plenty of information on how to find vegan substitutes," she recalled.

Richter herself helped her vegetarian boyfriend to become vegan. Having the same eating habits helped the relationship to grow, and the couple soon started living together. They began to enjoy a variety of vegan meals - from "vegan pancakes" for breakfast to "vegan shepherd's pie" for dinner - thanks to his talents in the kitchen.

When they decided to marry, it was a given that the wedding would be vegan. Richter and her bridegroom, Jeff Barnes, 30, took two years to prepare their once-in-a-lifetime event so that it would be as perfect as possible.

Despite the fact that most of the guests were not vegan or even vegetarian, their parents warmly accepted the idea of a "vegan wedding."

"My mother is vegetarian, but she's not vegan. Neither my father nor Jeff's parents are vegetarians. Still, they were very understanding," Richter said. It was not easy, though, to find a caterer who could fulfill their request to serve vegan wedding dishes.

"I called all the caters in the Baltimore/Washington area. Most people I spoke with had no idea what 'vegan' meant," Richter recalled.

After a tiring search, the couple finally found someone who understood what they wanted right away. The caterer, Cuisine Catering, didn't specialize in vegetarian and vegan food, but had experience making those kinds of dishes.

"We were very lucky," Richter said. "The chef is not vegan or vegetarian, but was very creative and made an excellent menu for us. Tasting menu samples (before the wedding), we believe that our guests will be as content with his vegan wedding dishes as we were."

Richter was right. After the wedding ceremony, appetizers were served to the guests standing in line to greet the newlyweds and their parents. The finger foods, which included Spinach Phyllo Cocktail Triangles (crispy spinach pastry puffs) and Potato Puffs with Spicy Mustard (seasoned mashed potatoes in a light pastry with cranberry mustard dipping sauce), were impressive enough and no one seemed to mind they were vegan.

The reception hall was set up ready to welcome guests with more enjoyable vegan dishes: Mediterranean roasted vegetables (sweet potatoes, zucchini, eggplant, red and green peppers, and carrots in a light basil olive oil dressing) served with humms, tapenade (a thick paste made from capers, ripe olives, olive oil and lemon juice), and pita bread; Wild Mushroom Action Station (sauteed wild mushrooms and grilled marinated Portobello mushrooms); and a Williamsburg-style platter of fresh fruits featuring pineapples filled with ripe strawberries, melons and other seasonal fruits). The drink menu was non-alcoholic at the couple's request. Organic coffee was one of the drinks served.

In addition to eating the unique wedding dishes, people also took pictures of them, often asking, "What is this?" Many had eaten vegetarian food before, but vegan dishes were still unfamiliar. Some of the guests exchanged vegetarian dining stories, saying, for example, "I ate at vegetarian restaurants many times and I like it." One enthusiastic woman asked Richter's vegan friend about the health benefits of such a diet.

One vegetarian guest confessed that she hadn't become vegan because she liked cheese. But she loved the vegan appetizers. "This dip tastes like real cheese," the chef, Avi Cohen, explained. "Instead of using cheese, I put artichoke and vegan soy cheese into the dip. Artichoke tastes like Parmesan."

He said that it was not really difficult to create the vegan wedding menu. "I know the substitutes I can use for vegans, such as tofu, seitan (wheat gluten), or tempeh (a kind of fermented soy product). I just tried to preserve the natural flavors of the vegetables, and to satisfy my customers."

The highlight of his creations was the main course: a beautifully presented Vegan Napoleon of baked eggplant layered with basil leaves, seitan, spinach, tomatoes and sliced wild mushrooms and served with a fire-roasted red pepper sauce. The side accompaniments were twice-baked rosemary sweet potatoes and lemon-scented asparagus. The fresh but rich flavor was seductive even to guests who were not vegetarians or vegan. "They were 'different'," one admitted honestly, but said, "Still I found this one was good."

Vegan Wedding Cake

"Congratulations!"

The camera flashed as Richter and Barnes sliced into the wedding cake. The lemon cake with raspberry layers was also vegan, using no dairy products or eggs. It was made by Vedika Webb of Lotus Cake Studio, who works exclusively with vegetarian and vegan brides. "Finding a vegan bakery was relatively easy," Richter said. "The vegetarian group I worked for had a list and we just selected the one we liked the best." Along with the cake, Webb prepared cute vegan petit fours, and in 15 minutes, the dessert plates were almost empty.

"I'm delighted the guests enjoyed our vegan dishes," Richter said, relieved at the compliments she received. "I think they felt more frustrated with a non-alcohol wedding."

To blessings and cheers, the newlyweds left for Hawaii for their honeymoon. They plan to stay there for two weeks, lodging in romantic - and vegan-friendly - accommodation, to round out their wedding in style.

attackferret
06-05-2005, 02:21 PM
Well, I wasn't sure where to gush, but this seems as good a place as any.

I went to an omni wedding yesterday, and at the reception they had all but one veggie dish (i think.. they may have been all veggie) and 4 of them were vegan!! :o I loaded my plate up with the salad because I thought it was going to be my only food, but then kept heaping more on my plate as more options became available to me! I had a yummy feast! I thanked the bride and found out she'd done it on purpose, because she knew I was vegan and that a few more vegetarians were present! :heart: :heart: :heart:

She's getting a big thankyou card :)

bird
06-05-2005, 02:51 PM
That's great; what a classy hostess!

jenzie
06-05-2005, 07:17 PM
Classy indeed! How awesome. :)

GIltine
06-05-2005, 08:31 PM
When I get married we're having a mixture of vegan and omni meals because my partner is omni. The wedding cake will be vegan and most snacks and appetisers will be also. But, my family, as well as my partner are avid omnis and I won't force them to eat vegan. It's my partners wedding too and if he wants seafood, I'll let him. I just won't be having any.

The plan is for my mum to make the wedding cake to my specifications (she's a great cook) and then I'll have to spend long hours trying to find a caterer who'll cook both vegan and omni meals for us.

But I have a few years yet. We're not getting married any time soon.

spidermonkey
06-05-2005, 08:57 PM
I think I'm probably one of the only vegans here who is creeped out by weddings (even if they are vegan). I just dread going to or being a part of anything traditional and formal (even skipped most of my graduation ceremonies). My mom thinks that I'll run away to the jungle if I ever get married. :p I know, I'm a little weird.

jenzie
06-05-2005, 10:26 PM
I think I'm probably one of the only vegans here who is creeped out by weddings (even if they are vegan). I just dread going to or being a part of anything traditional and formal (even skipped most of my graduation ceremonies). My mom thinks that I'll run away to the jungle if I ever get married. :p I know, I'm a little weird.

You're not alone. ;)

bird
06-06-2005, 05:11 AM
Nope, you've definitely got company. I got married by a local judge a block away from our apartment. No witnesses - just the two of us. Took about 5 minutes altogether. We wore jeans and t-shirts. Went back to the apartment afterwards and informed our immediate family by email. I still haven't told my friends or extended family. I didn't announce it on VRF. I hate talking about it.

I'm lucky; I got to avoid everything: no proposal, no engagement ring, no ceremony, no reception, no honeymoon, no gifts, no audience. Due to financial constraints, we don't even have wedding bands yet. Wedding bands are the only traditional thing that I want, but we're just going to get old-fashioned, non-jeweled gold ones.

I wanted to pass through the "bride" stage (shudder - I can't even think of myself as such an animal) and move right on to being a wife. Being married is the important part, not getting wed. Besides my not liking all that folderol, this was the best for us. Involving our families would have been ridiculously complicated and emotionally political.

I skipped almost all of my senior week activities when I graduated, too, including the Convocation speaker. (My school always has the speaker on Saturday and the actual graduation on Sunday, because Commencement would be too long otherwise). No graduation parties, no gifts (except for a surprise one from my now mother-in-law). I had to be forced to take pictures, but I made sure to return my cap and gown first, so I'm just wearing regular clothes in them.

I haven't had to attend a wedding since being a flower girl for my aunt and uncle when I was nine, but my guess is that I won't like it when it inevitably happens. I guess I just feel uncomfortable when a crowd is lavishing all its attention on one person/pair, and I'm also really shy. I do much better on a one-on-one basis.

ETA: I feel especially anomalous because I'm only 23. Young brides getting married for the first time definitely tend to make a bigger deal out of things than I did. My stepmother-in-law tried to say that I am just like her because she had a low-key wedding to my father-in-law, but she's 50+ and it's her third marriage.

FalafelsRule
06-06-2005, 06:17 AM
Nope, you've definitely got company. I got married by a local judge a block away from our apartment. No witnesses - just the two of us. Took about 5 minutes altogether. We wore jeans and t-shirts. Went back to the apartment afterwards and informed our immediate family by email. I still haven't told my friends or extended family. I didn't announce it on VRF. I hate talking about it.

I'm lucky; I got to avoid everything: no proposal, no engagement ring, no ceremony, no reception, no honeymoon, no gifts, no audience. Due to financial constraints, we don't even have wedding bands yet. Wedding bands are the only traditional thing that I want, but we're just going to get old-fashioned, non-jeweled gold ones.

That totally rocks! I really hope I end up with a woman who would like to do it that way. Although, I would not mind having a get together with close friends and family and celebrate over yummy vegan food. I think wedding dresses, tuxedos, huge receptions, getting married in a Christian way is just as corny as corny can get. I would prefer to be married by a judge in a non-religious way. Of course the person I marry will be vegan, for her to be non-religious and want a nice casual wedding like you had, would simply be the best!

I do want to go on a vacation afterwards. A nice vegan bed and breakfast, or Farm Sancutary's Bed and Breakfast would be great!

attackferret
06-06-2005, 08:34 AM
The marriage is the least important part to me. I want to get proposed to by some secluded waterfall, and I want to either get a cabin at a national park or go backpacking for the honeymoon. I don't really want to get married by a judge, but I'm certainly not having a christian wedding either. I don't really think about it often, but I can't think up a non-cheesy exchange of vows.

As for going to other people's weddings.. the one I went to Saturday was Catholic, so I felt a bit out of place there, and I had to buy a dress and shoes because I don't own anything else remotely sufficient for a wedding, but I'm glad I went. I think it would be sad to miss such an important event in any of my friend's lives.

bird
06-06-2005, 08:51 AM
I'm glad I went. I think it would be sad to miss such an important event in any of my friend's lives.Just to clear up any potential misunderstandings, I would never turn down an invitation to a friend or family member's wedding unless I had a good reason, like financial, geographical, or scheduling constraints. If they indicate, through the act of inviting me, that my presence there is important to them, then I personally feel that it's my responsibility as a good friend/relative to show up and be supportive of them. My discomfiture with wedding culture is not more important to me than being a good friend.

matriarco
06-06-2005, 06:04 PM
I am also creeped out by weddings, and in fact by marriage in general. The only thing that makes me sort of (but only a very little bit) regret my feelings about marriage is that I think it'd be fun to throw a big vegan party for my friends and family. Unfortunately people don't come from all over for seitan and Temptation ice cream. They only come for weddings.

grog
06-06-2005, 06:06 PM
Unfortunately people don't come from all over for seitan and Temptation ice cream. They only come for weddings.

Don't be so sure, try us....

spidermonkey
06-06-2005, 06:19 PM
Just to clear up any potential misunderstandings, I would never turn down an invitation to a friend or family member's wedding unless I had a good reason, like financial, geographical, or scheduling constraints. If they indicate, through the act of inviting me, that my presence there is important to them, then I personally feel that it's my responsibility as a good friend/relative to show up and be supportive of them. My discomfiture with wedding culture is not more important to me than being a good friend.Hmm, that's where I have a hard time. I'm extremely loyal to my family and close friends, and so I would probably go. I would just feel extremely uncomfortable the whole time. I would be wishing that I could escape the chaos and superficiality to be alone in the mountains somewhere. I even felt this way at my sister's wedding. :umm:

Emiloid
06-07-2005, 07:46 PM
Ah, weddings. I have mixed feelings about them. They are appealing in some ways, but I am uncomfortable with a lot of the symbolism and religious overtones of most weddings. I am also disturbed that because I choose male partners I am eligible for marriage, while if I were to choose a female partner that right would be denied us. That really bothers me, so in a way I oppose marriage out of solidarity with those who don't (generally) have the option.

On the other hand, I was in a committed relationship for seven years and found no compelling reason to marry, but after we broke up I started to rethink it. Not that I would have liked to complicate things, but it was disheartening to leave that relationship and not have people understand how important it was... we weren't just "boyfriend and girlfriend", we were truly partners. I used to think (when I was with him)... wouldn't it be nice to have a ceremony that wasn't a marriage, and yet conferred on us the legal advantages of marriage (like emergency room visitation)? But, of course, that would basically be a marriage.

Eh. Anyway, as an anthropologist and someone who enjoys the occasional ritualistic celebration, I can see the value and the fun of getting married. I think eventually I'd like to have a legally-binding commitment ceremony in which all of the guests (friends, family, etc.) would participate in the ceremony (as opposed to having one person "presiding" over it)... so everyone would be involved in the actual "marrying": no spectators allowed. Weddings are essentially a ceremony to publicly state your commitment, so why not make it a group event?

Oh yeah, and the food would all be casually vegan, as I believe I said earlier. :D

Soleil
06-07-2005, 09:18 PM
gee i wish you all lived here in Canada with me! I could make a kick-a s s reception. or well i guess i could just go down south and invite anyone who wants some delish vegan dishes! And the greatest thing would be the appreciation and satisfaction we'd see in all your eyes. it's been almost a yr since we got engaged. neither of us likes to plan much, but we are ABLE to though. Plus some of the inlaws like i mentioned earlier, seem to look down their nose at us because a) we're a few yrs younger than them; b) they have a bodybuilding supplement store and think they know everything about nutrition, yes including their own card labelled sport nutritionist (believe me he dont have any type of formal/informal training, except being a supplement junkie yrs back.
sigh maybe i'll never get married. I feel like perfect strangers are much more appreciative and take me way more seriously with my lifestyle and food.

Oatmeal Girl
06-07-2005, 09:31 PM
I think wedding dresses, tuxedos, huge receptions, getting married in a Christian way is just as corny as corny can get.


I agree. It's so silly and expensive. And doing it the way everyone else does somehow makes it less meaningful, at least in my opinion.

The only traditional thing I'd want is a big vegan wedding cake- only because I'd get to eat most of it! :happy:

Climbo
06-07-2005, 11:43 PM
I got married by a local judge a block away from our apartment... I still haven't told my friends or extended family. I didn't announce it on VRF. I hate talking about it.


I thought we were meant for each other. Once again, I've gotten my heart broken via the internet. Damn you and all of those 18/f/ca's.



I still feel very young. I'm sure you've all gotten the impression that I am a walking definition of "maturity," but--believe it or not--that's not true.
I'm beginning to believe that marriage might not be "right" for me, but I'm several thousand miles from that decision. If I do get married, I'll be sure to stay away from the ridiculously large guess list (or I'll pretend that's my reason, when really, I couldn't find more than five people who would want to go... ohhhhh snap, yo... I just got dissed) and religious ceremony. And if I'm going to find someone I'm willing to marry, chances are this person will feel the same way.
And if there is a reception, I'll make it so that I'm the only one who gets something to eat, while everyone else has to watch me. I feel it's easier that way.

bird
06-08-2005, 07:04 AM
I couldn't find more than five people who would want to goYeah, this was an issue for me, too, and I flat-out admitted it to my mother-in-law. She was really jonesin' to plan an elaborate, upscale wedding with me (she has no daughters, only two sons), and I told her it'd never work because the guests are always seated on opposite sides of the room depending on whether they "belong" to the bride or the groom. I said, "Matt's side will be overflowing and my side will have just five people!"

bluedawg
06-08-2005, 03:23 PM
I told her it'd never work because the guests are always seated on opposite sides of the room depending on whether they "belong" to the bride or the groom. I said, "Matt's side will be overflowing and my side will have just five people!"awwwww. i got married in my hometown, and my husband's family is not too big, not at all tight-knit, and scattered all over the country. in short: barely anyone was there "just" for him. to get around that issue in the church seating, we just had our ushers sit everyone all over the place. no one was "split up" except our parents, who sat on the traditional sides.

[small voice]some of us here got married in christian ceremonies with a wedding dress and a tuxedo and had 200 people, so maybe they don't always have to be corny or silly. i didn't think mine was.[/sv]

our wedding dinner was a buffet, and it was omni with tons of vegetarian options. i was lacto/ovo at the time and my husband was (and is) omni. i think if i would be getting married right now, i'd see if he'd be willing to do a veg*n dinner instead. he's a pretty kewl guy, so i bet he'd go for it. and i would for sure get a vegan cake, because mmmmmm, wedding cake.

bird
06-08-2005, 08:31 PM
There's no need for the small voice, bluedawg. It sounds like you had a lovely wedding, and I'm really happy for you.

The bottom line is that it's the couple's wedding, and they should celebrate it in whichever way feels most appropriate to them. If that means a traditional Christian ceremony in a church setting, there's nothing wrong with that. It's the couple's day. It really doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.

Church or courthouse, homosexual or heterosexual, first time or third, marriage is still about making a commitment to one another, and there's nothing corny or silly about that. Love is a beautiful thing to witness. Conversely, this is also why it's not "unromantic" if you get married by a judge/lawyer/city official in a secular, mundane setting.

We're all really saying the same thing, which is that how you get wed is a highly personal preference, one which varies widely among couples. But in the end, being wed amounts to the same thing, and it's either an existence that appeals to you, or doesn't.

Emiloid
06-08-2005, 08:44 PM
Aw, cymraegrrl, your post brought a tear to my eye! I'm so freakin' sentimental.... :rolleyes:

bird
06-08-2005, 09:10 PM
Hey, you stand up and say you're never gonna have another first kiss ever again! That's gotta make you cry, one way or another...

PS: This made me think of John McCutcheon's song "Last First Kiss". It's so beautiful. He wrote it for his wife as an anniversary present. I've pasted the lyrics below. If anyone wants the mp3, just PM me. (I'm gunnin' for your waterworks, Em!)

Sunday morning, coffee's on
The kids are gone
I'm thinking of that moment when
All you had to do was speak
My knees went weak
Yeah, I'm twenty-two years old again

You were my last first kiss
I never imagined love could be like this
You are the woman I still can't resist
You were my last first kiss

Friday night, standing at your gate
It was getting late
A long, slow walk home from the dance
You said you had a real nice time
Slipped your hand in mine
I closed my eyes and took a chance

You were my last first kiss
I never imagined love could be like this
You are the woman I still can't resist
You were my last first kiss

Been to heaven
We've been through hell
Since I gave you that ring
Now heaven knows
I wouldn't change a thing

You were my last first kiss
I never imagined love could be like this
You are the woman I still can't resist
You were my last first kiss

Sunday morning, coffee's on
The kids are gone
I'm thinking what a ride it's been
Still, all you have to do is speak
My knees go weak
I'm twenty-two years old again

bluedawg
06-08-2005, 10:13 PM
i got to hear the purty song, and it surely is purty! :silly:

thanks, cymraegrrl!

Artichoke47
06-09-2005, 12:34 AM
OT! OT! Someone call the Sheriff. :uhoh:

bird
06-09-2005, 02:05 AM
Uh-oh, bluedawg - looks like we set off someone's OT-dar! What were we thinking? Clearly we should be patterning ourselves on Artichoke, the exemplar of pertinence. PM when you get a chance; we need to start coordinating our user titles and locations!

Artichoke47
06-09-2005, 06:35 AM
:rolleyes: :laugh: No, my smart-ass/annoyance-dar is just starting to match yours.

trichaos
06-09-2005, 06:49 AM
Uh-oh, bluedawg - looks like we set off someone's OT-dar! What were we thinking? Clearly we should be patterning ourselves on Artichoke, the exemplar of pertinence. PM when you get a chance; we need to start coordinating our user titles and locations!
I was excited when you said the ignore list is your friend, I was really hoping Arti and I were on it. :disappointed:

Artichoke47
06-09-2005, 06:52 AM
Eh, I thought my post would be laughed at, but alas, due to being vegan, not everyone has a sense of humor, and not everyone can see the irony of complaining about one person's "off-topic" posts yet making their own truly off-topic (not to mention extremely long) posts in other threads.

bird
06-09-2005, 07:53 AM
Eh, I thought my post would be laughed at, but alas, due to being vegan, not everyone has a sense of humor.Oh, I definitely laughed. Fret not thyself.


not everyone can see the irony of complaining about one person's "off-topic" posts yet making their own truly off-topic (not to mention extremely long) posts in other threads.Mmm... I see it, all right.

Artichoke47
06-09-2005, 10:01 AM
Oh, I definitely laughed. Fret not thyself.

:umm: Yeah, I had to call in to work and tell them I couldn't make it to my deposition until I heard from you. I was biting my nails - is that vegan? *heads over to the confession booth*

kimmysoo
06-09-2005, 10:07 AM
I'm lucky; I got to avoid everything: no proposal, no engagement ring, no ceremony, no reception, no honeymoon, no gifts, no audience.

That's us all the way! :thumbsup: His friends are so jealous. :D ;)

We may never get married and we're both cool with that. If we did it'd be for the tax breaks and other benefits like being able to be on his insurance, etc. Plus, I hate being the center of attention. I'd rather die.

Oh, and it pisses me off that Michigan is one of a few states that have defense-of-marriage acts (DOMAs) that specifically ban same sex marriage. It's in our state constitution! So not getting married is my little act of solidarity.

Soooo.. to answer the original question, if we got married and wanted a celebration it'd be vegan all they way.

misanthropy
06-09-2005, 10:12 AM
We may never get married and we're both cool with that. If we did it'd be for the tax breaks and other benefits like being able to be on his insurance, etc.Yay for not getting married! :) We're not (as you know). As for insurance, common-law isn't recognized?

kimmysoo
06-09-2005, 10:27 AM
Yay for not getting married! :) We're not (as you know). As for insurance, common-law isn't recognized?

Nope. :( Several large employers offer benefits to same sex couples and "domestic partnerships," but that's about it as far as I know. I looked it up and common-law marriages have been banned since 1957.

misanthropy
06-09-2005, 10:34 AM
WTF? In Canada, common-law is defined by co-habitation for 1 year. Almost all insurance companies recognize opposite-sex common-law and many are starting to recognize same-sex common-law as well.

*ahem*... move here already!

ohboysoy
06-09-2005, 10:55 AM
Hey everyone, Im new to the forum and I was thrilled to see this topic of vegan weddings because my boyfriend (vegan) and I (vegan) were discussing this topic. We are not engaged and do not plan to marry anytime soon, but it's always good to be on the same page with things like this. I was under the assumption that we would have meat at our wedding and vegan/veg options for us, our friends and family. But he told me no way and that he wanted our entire wedding to be vegan appetizers, entres, cake (yum) and all. At first I was a little thrown off because I immediately started to think what my non-understanding family members would think i.e. my grandmother. But he basically said that if your grandma's love for meat and dairy is greater than her love for us then she does not need to be there in the first place. He also made another great point that we are dealing with now that all of our friends are getting married, we have 4 this year, and that is that WE have nothing to eat at their weddings. I am sure many of you have done the "We'll be there after dinner" because there is nothing more awkward than sitting with a bunch of people wondering why you arent eating. And then not to mention the questions and comments of "just eat this salad" or "Cant you pick the cheese off of this" So that is my rant on this topic and after some careful listening to my boyfriend's argument I fully agree with him and realized that our wedding will be the one event were our vegan and veg friends and family will be able to eat ANYTHING at the damn wedding, cake included :-)

kimmysoo
06-09-2005, 11:12 AM
WTF? In Canada, common-law is defined by co-habitation for 1 year. Almost all insurance companies recognize opposite-sex common-law and many are starting to recognize same-sex common-law as well.

Canada seems to be so much more progressive with stuff like that.

Just yesterday we were calling about insurance for my new Prius (yay!!) and we can't even be on the same frigging policy because we're not married!

*wonders if there's a "Marriage Sucks" thread somewhere around here...* ;)


*ahem*... move here already!

Awww, you know I'd love to. :kiss:

If only I could convince my family to do the same. I'd miss them. :bawling:

kimmysoo
06-09-2005, 11:17 AM
He also made another great point that we are dealing with now that all of our friends are getting married, we have 4 this year, and that is that WE have nothing to eat at their weddings. I am sure many of you have done the "We'll be there after dinner" because there is nothing more awkward than sitting with a bunch of people wondering why you arent eating. And then not to mention the questions and comments of "just eat this salad" or "Cant you pick the cheese off of this"

I'm totally with you on this. I was assured at a wedding we attended last year that there would be a vegan meal for me. Well, when they brought my entre out it was noodles and veggies covered in alfredo sauce. :sick: We went to another wedding just a few weeks ago with a similar problem. The response card didn't ask us to specify "beef" or "chicken," so I assumed it'd be a buffet with a few accidental vegan options. Nope! They brought everyone out a plate with prime rib AND a chicken breast.

Mason
06-09-2005, 11:39 AM
I don't understand the hesitation with having vegan wedding receptions. (Except for potential catering difficulties.) It's not like certain people won't have anything to eat. It's exactly the opposite. The omnis could eat everything there! Our diet is a subset of theirs. I don't believe whether or not they get that is our problem.

ohboysoy
06-09-2005, 11:44 AM
Yeah weddings can be a tough situation. My first wedding as a vegan is in 2 weeks. My boyfriend has been vegan for 8 years so he has been to his share of weddings were he ate nothing. I wouldn't mind going during dinner because thats when all of the cool stuff happens, they announce the couple and the first dance and what not. But I just do not want to deal with ignorant people whispering to eachother about why we arent eating the meat. I would use my usual remark of "Sorry, but I don't want to die of cancer or heart disease in my 50's" but I think I would offend some people that I dont know. I'll get over it, it just sucks that we'll probably be dining at Chipotle in our formal wear.

trichaos
06-09-2005, 12:07 PM
I won't allow any animals products in my home, so why would I allow anything other than vegan food at my wedding? If potential guests can't go a few hours without devouring flesh then they can just stay home. Weddings are supposed to be one of the happiest days of your life, and I wouldn't be happy knowing that animals suffered just to keep my guests satisfied.

*militant vegan rant off*

jenzie
06-09-2005, 03:22 PM
WTF? In Canada, common-law is defined by co-habitation for 1 year. Almost all insurance companies recognize opposite-sex common-law and many are starting to recognize same-sex common-law as well.

One year?! Whoa!

I think in most places 'round these parts it's 7 years of cohabitation.

If I went by the 1 year rule, I'd already have been "married" twice! :o :p

jenzie
06-09-2005, 03:38 PM
Oh, and as for my take on the whole wedding thing - Yeah, I'm not really into weddings. I think, generally, they're a waste of time and expense.

I honestly don't see myself ever getting married, but if I do, it'll be on a small beach somewhere, with some non-religious person seeing over things, and my Mom and JimJim and whomever the groom would want to bring. If that.

No dress, no tux, no flowers, and wedding bands would be simple, no stones or anything.

I don't think anything is -wrong- with the "traditional" weddings with the big white dress and that, it's just not for me.

misanthropy
06-09-2005, 04:57 PM
One year?! Whoa!Yup! One year. Not only recognized by insurance companies, but also by Revenue Canada (our version of the IRS). Where it does differs from province to province is regarding things like spousal support and division of property after a breakup.

Emiloid
06-09-2005, 04:59 PM
Just yesterday we were calling about insurance for my new Prius (yay!!) and we can't even be on the same frigging policy because we're not married!Slightly off-topic, but you might be able to share insurance if you put both your names on the title of your cars.

Similarly, in the US at least, you can get some of the benefits of marriage without tying the knot if you write up a legal agreement for it... for example, "durable power of attorney" (among other things) gives you emergency room visitation rights without being married. On the other hand, do hospitals ever ask for proof that you're married or family? I always figured I just lie and say I was married if something like that happened and I didn't have the legal stuff covered.

spidermonkey
06-09-2005, 06:56 PM
Oh, and as for my take on the whole wedding thing - Yeah, I'm not really into weddings. I think, generally, they're a waste of time and expense.

I honestly don't see myself ever getting married, but if I do, it'll be on a small beach somewhere, with some non-religious person seeing over things, and my Mom and JimJim and whomever the groom would want to bring. If that.

No dress, no tux, no flowers, and wedding bands would be simple, no stones or anything.

I don't think anything is -wrong- with the "traditional" weddings with the big white dress and that, it's just not for me.And once again, I'm in agreement with you jenzie. :cool:

KKB
06-10-2005, 09:29 AM
I don't understand the hesitation with having vegan wedding receptions. (Except for potential catering difficulties.) It's not like certain people won't have anything to eat. It's exactly the opposite. The omnis could eat everything there! Our diet is a subset of theirs. I don't believe whether or not they get that is our problem.
EXACTLY!
this is a no-brainer for me. IF i marry, it's gotta be all vegan. what a perfect opportunity to showcase veganism as a delicious and easily accessable diet! weddings are friggin expensive investments... i'm not going to purchase a car with leather seats, why would i spend potentially thousands of dollars supporting the meat/dairy industry. i have a hard time believing that ANY omni, no matter how dense or set in their ways, would be 'offended' because the marrying couple chose to uphold their personal beliefs and convictions. hypothetically, would a protestant refuse to attend a catholic ceremony or vice versa? or a buddhist refuse to attend a christian or vice versa? it's FOOD, people. omnis can do without for at least one meal!!! if not, who needs/wants them in attendance? respect for the bride/groom's beliefs and wishes is critical. it just doesn't seem like too much to ask..... :p

Oatmeal Girl
06-10-2005, 09:33 AM
Hey Katelin! Are you the same Katelin who added me on myspace? I'm Ms. Avocado Head.

I hate it when people complain that they can't eat vegan food. What? Food is food! It's not like we put any special ingredients in it that don't qualify as food.

Stitches
06-11-2005, 02:02 AM
Random thought: If I was going to get married (unlikely), I know my brother (the only member of my family who, to my knowledge, has never eaten an animal-free meal in his entire life) would have a hissy fit over the menu. I can just imagine me telling him that he and the 'rents dragged me to a steakhouse for his 18th birthday and he can shut the f*** up and eat a vegan meal for once in his entire life, or not go to the reception at all. I'm still guilt-tripping Dad about having given him preferential treatment growing up, so hopefully if I ever tie the noose, he'd back me up on that.

Of course, I'm as likely to find someone who will put up with me for the rest of our lives as hell is to freeze over...

KKB
06-11-2005, 09:15 AM
Hey Katelin! Are you the same Katelin who added me on myspace? I'm Ms. Avocado Head.

I hate it when people complain that they can't eat vegan food. What? Food is food! It's not like we put any special ingredients in it that don't qualify as food.
:yes: Yes!! Hi! i didn't make the connection, but yep, that's me... i think i saw you on Jenzie's profile and just thought you sounded ultra cool ;) ahh, myspace :rolleyes:

Oatmeal Girl
06-11-2005, 09:20 AM
:yes: Yes!! Hi! i didn't make the connection, but yep, that's me... i think i saw you on Jenzie's profile and just thought you sounded ultra cool ;) ahh, myspace :rolleyes:


aww, you're so sweet! and yes, myspace, how sweet it is!

JasperKat
07-12-2005, 10:17 AM
Good news for me! I found a local bakery that makes vegan wedding cakes! It's $3 a serving, but I'll gladly pay it if it tastes good. We're going to talk to the owner today and find out the details. I'd link their website but it's just a main page with the phone number and address right now.

W00T!!!

-JK

bird
07-12-2005, 12:12 PM
That's awesome news, JasperKat! Hooray for bakers of vegan wedding cake! :banana:

JasperKat
07-12-2005, 10:55 PM
Well crud. The lady we need to talk to wasn't in today. We have an appointment next Thursday.

-JK

kimmysoo
07-14-2005, 01:26 PM
Good news for me! I found a local bakery that makes vegan wedding cakes! It's $3 a serving, but I'll gladly pay it if it tastes good. We're going to talk to the owner today and find out the details. I'd link their website but it's just a main page with the phone number and address right now.

W00T!!!

-JK

That's awesome, JK! :) Who is it? I always figured Inn Season could whip something up, but maybe they don't do catering.

(OT: I'm going to the Om Cafe for the first time tonight! Yay!)

libertine
07-29-2005, 03:31 PM
Well...I'm hoping to get married in about 5 years and I am already planning on having a full blown vegan meal, including cake. There are so many vegan bakeries on the Internet, I'm sure it will work out.
Alicia Silverstone got married recently and her entire set up was vegan. If she can do it, I can do it! :)
I'll send everyone an invitation, I promise. :kiss:

spasticastic
07-29-2005, 06:59 PM
Alicia Silverstone got married recently and her entire set up was vegan. If she can do it, I can do it! :)
May your wedding day be sunny and may your budget be as big as Alicia Silverstone's! :)

libertine
07-29-2005, 09:28 PM
May your wedding day be sunny and may your budget be as big as Alicia Silverstone's! :)
Thank you!

Oatmeal Girl
07-29-2005, 10:59 PM
Libertine my sweet, are you engaged to that wonderful Californian?

JasperKat
08-09-2005, 07:52 PM
That's awesome, JK! :) Who is it? I always figured Inn Season could whip something up, but maybe they don't do catering.

(OT: I'm going to the Om Cafe for the first time tonight! Yay!)


Whoops, sorry kimmy! I haven't been back to this thread since before my vacation and didn't see your post. The bakery is Sugar Kisses (http://www.sugarkissesbakery.com/) on Washington in Royal Oak. I had a lemon cupcake with vanilla frosting while we were there and if it's any example of their vegan baked goods, I'm in for a very tasty wedding cake! Inn Season said that they could do a vegan cake, but that it wouldn't look like a wedding cake. Boo. :mad:

Anyhow, they have lots of vegan stuff there and it's all clearly labeled and (I think) organic. The wedding cake will be a little pricey, but for all organic, vegan products, I knew it would be. Yay for cake! :happy:

-JK

kimmysoo
08-15-2005, 07:44 AM
The bakery is Sugar Kisses (http://www.sugarkissesbakery.com/) on Washington in Royal Oak. I had a lemon cupcake with vanilla frosting while we were there and if it's any example of their vegan baked goods, I'm in for a very tasty wedding cake! Inn Season said that they could do a vegan cake, but that it wouldn't look like a wedding cake. Boo. :mad:

Yum! I'll have to go there next time I'm in Royal Oak.

It's surprising that Inn Season doesn't have anyone on staff that can decorate their cakes for a wedding. Wouldn't you think they'd get a lot of requests?

mishka
10-26-2005, 08:57 AM
I had a commitment ceremony 3 years ago (we are since separated...) and I was adamant about having at least a mostly vegan buffet. I think there were 2 dishes that contained dairy, and there were a few desserts I could not have. The caterers did a great job at modifying much of the dishes so that they were vegan, and the food was inredible.

And can you believe that someone actually complained to us that we did not serve meat? Jerk. Coincidentally, her gift to us got broken ;)

warhooligan
07-08-2006, 02:06 AM
The whole point about veganism being a subset of of omni diets is so important. Then again, I am so sick of hearing people complain that they "only like lettuce and cucumbers" or "cant stand anything but meat and ketchup" on a burger. these people are BEGGING for health problems...

As openminded as I am about peoples' choices, when I get married, if i have a big reception, yes, it will be vegan, no matter what the "he" in question wants (I would love to think he would be vegan too, but love is so fickle).

Matthew
07-22-2006, 11:42 PM
I would offer mostly vegan food, but still have some vegetarian stuff available. I certainly do not condone eating any meat or consuming animal products, but I cannot force my views on everyone else.

But at the rate things are going here in America, I most likely will never be able to legally marry (my partner of 8.5 years) since I am gay. With the president pushing his views on everyone, things are not changing for the better.

It is difficult enough being vegan, adding gay to the equation makes it so much harder.

Matt :mad:

Climbo
07-23-2006, 12:05 AM
If anyone ever tells you it's harder to be vegan than it is to be gay, I suggest slapping that person three ways from Sunday.

ali
07-23-2006, 03:19 PM
We did the whole thing vegan, including the cake. Lots of our friends grumbled, but ended up eating everything. We figured that since we were throwing the wedding for ourselves, we wanted to do it our way. The caterer, who had never done a vegan wedding before, was so proud of himseld and was even thinking of putting a vegan option on his regular menu.

On a more depressing note- it makes me so angry that this president and his cronies won't allow people who love each other to marry.

LesMiserablesLove
10-27-2006, 04:45 PM
Are there vegan or vegan-willing caterers near southern Wisconsin?

LesMiserablesLove
10-27-2006, 04:46 PM
PS--My family still can't understand my reasoning for why I want my wedding to be all-vegan. I keep telling them it will be my day, and why would I want something I consider so immoral tainting my wedding day. But they don't get it, and keep insisting that all the guests will be disappointed, etc. It's frustrating to have a family that doesn't get it (and one that expects you to eventually quit veganism and becoming omni again).

Miso Vegan
10-27-2006, 04:58 PM
Sorry for your familial frustrations. :umm: Don't listen to them and their opinions on what guests will think. Supposedly, they're there to celebrate your wedding, not to eat - the meal is a side benefit.

Wow 'em with the vegan meal!!

As for caterers - I don't know about your area, but call regular caterers and see if they'd be excited to take up the challenge. You can offer them recipes and cookbooks (there's one mentioned upthread, I believe, about vegan cooking for large numbers of people) to help.
Some chefs really enjoy the challenge. Some will charge more for not using one of their set menus, so you might want to use whatever items on their existing menus are already vegan/easily veganizable, and just work on replacing the main dish.

Good luck!

Flower
10-27-2006, 05:02 PM
Are there vegan or vegan-willing caterers near southern Wisconsin?

Try East Side Ovens- http://www.eastsideovens.com/ They bake a lot of vegan stuff for a HFS chain in Milwaukee and they have some food items, too, so they may do catering.

I'm so sorry that your family is giving you a hard time with it. Mine is the same way with stuff like this. :umm:

bluedawg
10-27-2006, 07:11 PM
Are there vegan or vegan-willing caterers near southern Wisconsin?

as far as the milwaukee area goes:

you might try calling outpost natural foods (co-op)... i believe they do some catering.

oh! or beans & barley, which is a restaurant with a cafe attached, and a deli counter/case... i believe they do some catering. i hope i'm not horribly misremembering things.

riverwest co-op is awesome but teeeeny. not sure if they're set up for something like that, but their teeeeeny cafe is 95% vegan and i bet they could do something great if they were up for it.

Flower's suggestion of east side ovens is a good one, too--i was thinking they might be good for the cake?

smaresap
10-28-2006, 03:35 PM
We also incorporated animal rights into our wedding by skipping the favor and instead doing a donation favor to a local no-kill shelter that also runs a farm for 'unadoptable' animals (those with behavioral issues, sicknesses) so they can know some happiness in our life. At each guest's place setting we simply put a little scroll that described the organization and why we were donating to that organization.

Some people were rude about it :mad: but overall people loved it (rather than a favor that might just end up in the trash)

bluedawg
10-29-2006, 01:55 PM
Some people were rude about it :mad: but overall people loved it (rather than a favor that might just end up in the trash)
that is a REALLY neat idea, smaresap! i can't believe some people were rude about it! how ridiculous. who could get bent out of shape over not getting a book of matches, or three hershey's kisses wrapped in tulle, or some bubbles? sheesh. :rolleyes: what an excellent use of that money--nicely done!!

Flower
10-29-2006, 02:44 PM
That is a really great thing you did, smaresap. It never ceases to amaze me how people become at weddings. Why can't they just respect the wishes of the bride & groom?

bird
10-29-2006, 10:52 PM
that is a REALLY neat idea, smaresap! i can't believe some people were rude about it! how ridiculous. who could get bent out of shape over not getting a book of matches, or three hershey's kisses wrapped in tulle, or some bubbles? sheesh. :rolleyes: what an excellent use of that money--nicely done!!word! :thumbsup:


That is a really great thing you did, smaresap. It never ceases to amaze me how people become at weddings. Why can't they just respect the wishes of the bride & groom?double word. :rolleyes:

JasperKat
12-07-2006, 07:07 PM
Miso! Are you sending any sort of cards for wedding related activities? Aren't these (http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=354876)cute?

-JK

Miso Vegan
12-07-2006, 11:36 PM
Oh, those are sweet! I have no idea - I've only one attendant, everyone else is from out of town.... Maybe I should think up an event, just so I can send those cards! :yes:

bird
02-12-2007, 04:30 PM
How Green Was My Wedding

By MIREYA NAVARRO

KATE Harrison’s idea of a fairy tale wedding goes something like this:

Gather more than 150 friends and relatives at an organic farm for a prewedding day of hikes and environmental tours.

Calculate the mileage guests will travel and offset their carbon dioxide emissions by donating to programs that plant trees or preserve rain forests.

Use hydrangeas, berries and other local and seasonal flowers for her bouquet and the decorations, instead of burning up fuel transporting flowers from faraway farms. Design an organic autumnal menu (same reason). Find a vintage dress to avoid the waste of a wedding gown that will never be worn again.

“It’s well worth it to start your life together in a way that’s in line with your values and beliefs,” said Ms. Harrison, 28, a graduate student at Yale, who is to marry in October. “You don’t want this event that is supposed to start your life together to come at the expense of the environment or workers in another country.”

Call Ms. Harrison the anti-Bridezilla, whose wedding is all about the planet, rather than “all about me.” People in the wedding business say the eco-friendly or “green” wedding has arrived, its appeal having expanded to spur a mini-industry of stores and Web sites offering couples biodegradable plates made of sugar cane fiber and flowers grown according to sustainable farming practices.

The quality and choice of products has so steadily improved that the green concept is spreading to other kinds of parties, allowing hosts to embrace the earth without sacrificing style, party planners and others say.

“People are making purchasing decisions based on environmental concerns,” said Gerald Prolman, the founder of OrganicBouquet.com, an online organic florist. Mr. Prolman, who said his Web site has doubled its sales yearly since it began in 2001, added a wholesale business last August to meet growing demand.

“Whether it’s food or cotton or flowers,” Mr. Prolman said, “people are asking questions: How are farmworkers treated? Who produced the product? How is the environment affected in that process?”

Eric Fenster, an owner of Back to Earth, an organic catering company in Berkeley, said that when he started his business in 2001, his clients consisted almost exclusively of social justice and environmental nonprofit groups. But that market has expanded to make weddings a third of his business.

And few events offer as many opportunities to say “I care” than a wedding, whose average cost is $25,000 to $30,000. Bridal magazines, too, have recognized the trend, and a new online site, Portovert.com, made its appearance last month, catering to “eco-savvy brides and grooms.”

MILLIE MARTINI BRATTEN, the editor in chief of Brides magazine, said that over the last five years the interest in green weddings has blossomed from a desire to incorporate a few green elements, like a vegan menu, to making sure the entire celebration won’t contribute to the depletion of natural resources. This may include finding halls that recycle, hiring caterers who use locally grown ingredients, decorating with potted plants that can be transplanted and using soy-based candles, rather than those of petroleum-based wax.

“If anything, it makes the wedding even more meaningful,” said Ms. Martini Bratten, whose magazine’s February-March issue features a planning guide for a green wedding.

Today, some in the eco-business note, even the honeymoon can be green without roughing it. “You used to have to go camping,” said Ted Ning, the executive director of the Lohas Journal, a resource guide for businesses that serve the environmentally conscious market. “Now you have these amazing luxurious spas in Africa or Fiji. You can look at different animals while getting a massage in a tree.”

But can weddings really make a dent in global warming, particularly if the couple then set out on an emission-spewing trans-Atlantic flight for the honeymoon?

Janet Larsen, the director of research at the Earth Policy Institute, an environmental research group in Washington, said that every little bit helps. “All the actions add up,” she said. “Anything individuals can do to reduce their overall environmental footprint can make a difference.” Joshua Houdek, 32, and Kristi Papenfuss, 35, are planning a “zero waste” wedding for 250 guests in August. It will take place on a farm and include compostable plates and utensils, organic and fair trade-certified food, locally brewed beer and organic wine and wedding rings that are “100 percent reclaimed, recycled, ecologically responsible gold,” said Mr. Houdek, who works as a Sierra Club organizer in Minneapolis.

In lieu of traditional gifts, Mr. Houdek and Ms. Papenfuss, an elementary school teacher, plan to ask guests to sign up for renewable energy and reforestation projects to counteract their energy consumption or to donate to the Sierra Club or other environmental groups.

The couple doesn’t think it’s too much to ask. “We’re not forcing them,” Mr. Houdek stressed, though Ms. Papenfuss said that some people have been surprised at the elements that are making an appearance at their wedding.

“We’ve had a few people say ‘What?’ when we talk about biodegradable forks that are potato-based,” she said. ‘What do you mean forks made out of potato?’ ”

For her wedding, Ms. Harrison, who is working on a law degree and a master’s in environmental management, and her fiancé, Barry Muchnick, 33, also a graduate student at Yale, plan to treat guests to a rehearsal barbecue dinner at an organic farm in Garrison, N.Y. The next day’s ceremony is to take place at Castle Rock, a state-owned 19th-century castle in a scenic trail area, followed by the reception at a golf club, whose restaurant serves organic food.

The couple are looking for shuttle buses that run on biodiesel fuel to move guests between sites, and Ms. Harrison is making pottery for her guests to take home as party favors. It all sounds like more work and expense than the traditional wedding. While Mr. Ning of Lohas Journal noted that going organic often means paying up to 20 percent more because many products come from small farms that receive no government subsidies, some brides noted that a wedding at a farm is more economical than at a hotel or hall.

“It doesn’t have to be any more or any less expensive,” Ms. Papenfuss said.

Some couples make tradeoffs so they can afford to go green. Sarah Minick, 29, an environmental planner in the Bay Area, and Siddhartha Mitra, 27, a doctoral student at the University of California at San Francisco, kept their wedding last July on the small side, about 75 guests, so they could offer an organic menu, which they said cost about 10 percent more than traditional food. The couple had their ceremony and reception in a natural setting that required few decorations, the University of California Botanical Garden at Berkeley. They went less green on the favors, though: they gave non-native tropical plants because they thought them more beautiful than locally grown varieties and felt their guests would enjoy them more, Mr. Mitra said.

“We’re really happy with how it turned out,” the bridegroom said. “It reflected us.”

The environmentally conscious party concept is spreading. Marriott International will soon announce deals with organicbouquet.com and other vendors to make organic flowers available to customers for events, starting in the spring, said Laurie Goldstein, a spokeswoman for the hotel chain. Ms. Goldstein, who said the demand was driven by corporate meeting planners seeking to be more socially responsible, called organic flowers “the first step” to offering all-green events, including organic food and organic cotton tablecloths.

Even Hollywood is jumping on the bandwagon. For the Golden Globes last month, E! Entertainment partnered with the Environmental Media Association as hosts to a Golden Green after-party, including napkins printed with energy-saving tips. The organizers also committed themselves to planting a tree for each of the 800-plus guests.

For private parties, as for weddings, Ms. Martini Bratten advises couples that no matter how well intentioned, they should not appear to be coercing guests into contributing to a cause. Asking them to buy a certain gift or donate to a specific group is fine as long as that is conveyed as just one choice, she said. “It shouldn’t be a requirement,” she said. “Imposing your wishes on someone else is crossing the line.”

What about the host who wants to send guests home with energy-efficient light bulbs?

Many couples said that more often than not their friends and families want to make a difference, too. “I have a couple of relatives who think some of it is unnecessary, but they appreciate the mind-set behind it,” Ms. Harrison said. “It’s a huge opportunity for people to make choices that can affect change. It’s one of the biggest contributions you can make as a young adult.”

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/02/11/fashion/11green.html?ei=5087%0A&em=&en=76a0e5070ebcf391&ex=1171429200&pagewanted=print

bird
02-12-2007, 04:32 PM
Making High-Flying Guests Fuel-Efficient

By MATTHEW L. WALD

ENVIRONMENTALLY conflicted couples can “offset” the global warming impact of their celebrations by purchasing carbon credits from a company that helps reduce emissions of climate-changing gases. Such companies help finance windmills that replace coal-burning power plants, for example, or help pay for projects to gather cow manure and use it to make methane that is burned for electricity. That replaces coal and stops emissions of unburned methane, itself a global warming gas.

One company, TerraPass, offers a product that appears on Expedia, the travel Web site: shoppers can buy a pass to offset their flight.

“When you do the math of a wedding,” said Tom Arnold, the chief environmental officer at TerraPass, it’s flying that has the biggest environmental impact. There are other ways to make travel more earth-friendly. “I have pitched my girlfriend, who I hope will be my fiancée, that we should go on tour, instead of everybody coming to see us,” Mr. Arnold said. So far, she has not consented to that plan (or to a wedding).

Burning a gallon of gasoline or of jet fuel produces approximately equal amounts of carbon dioxide. The airlines say that that each gallon moves a passenger about 20 miles, so a 1,000-mile trip would use about 50 gallons. (At TerraPass, a pass for such a trip would cost $9.95.) A large sedan on the highway would also go about 20 miles on a gallon, but would be much more efficient per person if it is carrying three or four people.

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/02/11/fashion/11gside.html/?pagewanted=print

Miso Vegan
02-12-2007, 06:27 PM
Oh man, I could write an article myself of the challenges of trying to plan a "green" wedding....

vegematic
02-12-2007, 06:32 PM
We had a vegan pot luck wedding in our yard. I made a lot of the dishes myself and then had family bring other items. My husband's family are not very confident cooks and not very familiar with veganism so we assigned them easy things to bring like garden salad. My family loves to cook and is very comfortable with vegan cooking so they had no problem bringing more "complicated" items.

Only immediate family were invited and they were only given 2 weeks notice so there really wasn't time to interfere. Formal attire was forbidden, frisbees and nerf footballs were encouraged. It was very low key, definitely the way to have a wedding. Nobody had so much to do that they were stressed out and everybody ate very well.
-vegematic

mamaquilla
02-12-2007, 06:34 PM
Sounds lovely Vegematic!!! :happy:

LuC
02-12-2007, 06:46 PM
We had a beautiful vegan wedding on the beach in Costa Rica. It was delightfully warm and you could hear the waves rushing in and out a few feet away. We had the reception right after the ceremony on the beach as well. It’s so much more memorable when it’s about you and not everyone else.

Miso Vegan
02-12-2007, 07:33 PM
vegematic and LuC, those do sound lovely!

LuC, what beach in Costa Rica? How'd you get vegan food there? (I mean, not that it'd be impossible, but - was this through an eco-hotel or something?)

Earth child
02-12-2007, 08:03 PM
My future wedding will be all vegan, no exceptions. :happy:

LuC
02-13-2007, 05:39 AM
vegematic and LuC, those do sound lovely!

LuC, what beach in Costa Rica? How'd you get vegan food there? (I mean, not that it'd be impossible, but - was this through an eco-hotel or something?)

Miso, we stayed at the Allegro Papagayo hotel on Manzanillo Beach in Guanacaste, which is on the Pacific side of Costa Rica. We really wanted to get married in Costa Rica and at the time this was one of the only hotels that offered a wedding package. (Now looking at the website, it looks like there is another hotel that offers a package as well.) In terms of the food, we just requested what we did not want. We made it clear (with a long list) that there was not to be any animal products of any kind and they accommodated us willingly.

http://www.occidentalhotels.com/hotel_information.aspx?hotel=1082649683227

It was absolutely a beautiful place! It is still not a really popular destination, so it is not overly saturated with tourists. I found the really liked the country socially as well. They have health care, subsidized education, and they are very eco-friendly (they only use natural resources to generate power). The scuba diving was also amazing. We also went to this amazing spa carved out of the side of a volcano in the middle of a rainforest. We did so many amazing things.

Flower
02-13-2007, 07:43 AM
Beautiful pictures, LuC!

Miso Vegan
02-13-2007, 10:51 AM
Great pics!

I'll have to look at my travel journal to see if that's the beach I went to - sounds right, but my memory cannot be trusted. I went in 97, spent a week at a coffee finca, then rented a motorcycle, and spent another week going from a mountains (Monte Verde) to beach. Quite an adventure.

Such a beautiful country.

atouria
02-13-2007, 11:15 AM
Gorgeous photos!!! :heart:

LuC
02-13-2007, 05:23 PM
thanks guys! it was a gorgeous place.

miso, that sounds great. we want to do something like that the next time we find ourselves in costa rica.

michiganveganchick
02-13-2007, 10:00 PM
LuC, those pictures are beautiful!!

emzy1985
02-22-2007, 11:21 AM
It would be all vegan and thats it. No compromise!

(I'm not married....although I have been engaged to my gf for about 6months...nothing happening for a few years yet!)

tin can
02-23-2007, 09:17 AM
Definitely all vegan, I can't imagine any reason to have it otherwise, it's not as if omnis are going to have any proper objections to vegan food, and if they do, they can eat at home or whatever. Not that I'm ever likely to get married though

Vegan Angelik
02-23-2007, 11:03 AM
Im actually havign a religious meetign at my home today and its definately goign to eb all Vegan, omnis like vegan foods too.

Vegan Angelik
02-23-2007, 11:05 AM
Oh and my thanksgiving was vegan also, no one missed the emat and I got alot fo compliments on ym cooking.

LuC
03-12-2007, 05:19 AM
There is a great article in the recent VegNews Magazine title 8 Incredible Vegan Weddings. They chronicle these couples vegan wedding experiences, including information about their caterers, location, dresses, and more. It was a very good read.

Miso Vegan
03-14-2007, 08:48 PM
I love their wedding issue. :)

michiganveganchick
03-15-2007, 06:32 AM
I haven't thought about it too much, as I'm nowhere near finding someone I would consider spending my life with.

That being said, I think I would like to have a vegan wedding, if I ever have one.

The one thing I do think would be nice would be to ask people make donations to a charity of my choice in lieu of giving wedding gifts.

LuC
03-15-2007, 06:49 AM
The one thing I do think would be nice would be to ask people make donations to a charity of my choice in lieu of giving wedding gifts.

That's a great idea! Many people do take this route for thier wedding gifts. I wish I would have done that for my wedding but we had a more traditional approach because of my family and because we were both starting out with pretty much nothing.

I do this type of gift giving for many other occassions. For example, at Christmas my entire family adopted an endangered species from WWF. My husband also fed Tange, from the Elephant Sanctuary, for a couple of days in my name for Valentine's Day. :heart: the gift!

atouria
03-15-2007, 09:34 AM
Miso, when is your wedding? It may have been posted up thread, but I couldn't find it.

Miso Vegan
03-15-2007, 12:19 PM
June 23rd. Just over 3 months away. :sweat:

mishka
03-15-2007, 03:52 PM
that's so exciting!! Are we going to get to see pictures? please say yes please say yes

Miso Vegan
03-15-2007, 05:11 PM
NO PICTURES FOR YOU!




I'm kidding, of course - first and foremost, the vegan spread, the mohop shoes, and the bamboo dress. Everything after that is incidental.

atouria
03-15-2007, 05:15 PM
Bamboo dress? You're going to be soo comfy and beautiful!

Were you guys having a shower or am I remembering correctly that you said you were requesting donations to a certain charity instead of gifts?

Miso Vegan
03-15-2007, 05:34 PM
Well, mostly donations. There are a few things we'd like, so for people who cannot help but buy something, we put together small registries.

My matron of honor is going to plan some sort of - event - maybe not so much a shower, although perhaps gifts will be involved. I'm more into hanging out with good friends.

Yes! I'm very excited about the bamboo dress, and given how hard it was to find the material and the right seamstress, I'm fairly certain I'll have the first bamboo wedding dress evah. :cool:

Did I not ever post our wedding website at I Do Foundation?
http://www.idofoundation.org/15083

JasperKat
03-15-2007, 05:42 PM
I can't believe I've never seen a picture of you before, Miso! You and Dennis make such an attractive couple. :cool:

I love the webpage, and your charities sound awesome. I wish that Mr Kat and I would have done something similar. We toyed around with the idea, I don't know why it never materialized.

Can't wait to see pics! What did you decide on dress-wise? (As far as the sash/no sash and the design?)

-JK

atouria
03-15-2007, 05:48 PM
Am I doing something wrong? I can't access the cooking.com registry, but I can access Target's just fine.

I do think that you posted it before, but I'm not 100% sure. :p

mamaquilla
03-15-2007, 05:52 PM
Oh my gosh its coming up so fast Miso!!!! :happy:

Miso Vegan
03-15-2007, 07:19 PM
I can't believe I've never seen a picture of you before, Miso! You and Dennis make such an attractive couple. :cool:

:blush: thanks! That's the neck wrap I got from neverfeltbetter in that picture. It was dead of winter (for Seattle) when we took the pictures - foggy, cold, and at the same site where our wedding will be. We got a lot of great pictures, we chose that one with the holly berries in the background for a bit more color.

Are you suuuure you haven't seen a picture of me? There's an old one in the greyhound thread, and a recent one in VRF IRL.... ;)


Can't wait to see pics! What did you decide on dress-wise? (As far as the sash/no sash and the design?)


So, the seamstress said she would make a same-fabric thin belt, but barely stitched on so it'd be easy to remove. And she'd make me a purple one, too, so I could stitch that on if I want.

Miso Vegan
03-15-2007, 07:24 PM
Am I doing something wrong? I can't access the cooking.com registry, but I can access Target's just fine.
Hmm. When I do it, it gets me through to cooking.com but not to my specific registry, so I was able to put in my first and last name to have it come up. maybe you can try again later?

Flower
03-15-2007, 07:36 PM
Your wedding sounds like it will absolutely divine, Miso! :love:

MissLovely
04-25-2007, 12:30 PM
I don't watch Days Of Our Lives, but I saw a T.V. spot on green weddings, and they mentioned this. Sami and Lucas's Green Wedding. (http://www.nbc.com/Days_of_our_Lives/features/samis_wedding/)

JasperKat
04-25-2007, 05:14 PM
Are you suuuure you haven't seen a picture of me? There's an old one in the greyhound thread, and a recent one in VRF IRL.... ;)

Entirely possible, I have the memory of a flea. The silver lining is, I'm always pleasantly suprised when I find out (again!) how cute VRFers are. :D


So, the seamstress said she would make a same-fabric thin belt, but barely stitched on so it'd be easy to remove. And she'd make me a purple one, too, so I could stitch that on if I want.

Nice! Have you been for a fitting yet? Has she started it?

-JK

Jessica
04-25-2007, 05:50 PM
I don't foresee a wedding in my future, but if I had one i'm sure it'd be a very small thing; or maybe we'd just elope. If I were to have a huge wedding with a big reception, it'd be vegan. I wouldn't advertise it as vegan or anything special. I may use meat substitute in whatever I'd have made. I used to say I'd have Taco Bell cater my wedding. I also used to say I'd get married in lime green. :rolleyes: :laugh:

I'm weird and people who know me know this. If they don't like me how I am, they can just **** off cuz they ain't my kind. :)

Miso Vegan
04-25-2007, 06:13 PM
Nice! Have you been for a fitting yet? Has she started it?

-JK

It should arrive Saturday! Since she's long distance, she'll send it to me and I'll have any alterations done locally.

bluedawg
04-25-2007, 07:07 PM
I don't watch Days Of Our Lives, but I saw a T.V. spot on green weddings, and they mentioned this. Sami and Lucas's Green Wedding. (http://www.nbc.com/Days_of_our_Lives/features/samis_wedding/)
ha! that rules.

bluedawg
09-15-2007, 08:34 PM
okay, this is NOT a vegan wedding blog, but it might have some good stuff in it for future reference. :)

http://ecochicweddings.typepad.com/

Hana
10-03-2007, 04:59 AM
My Wife and I were maried in July, and it was all Vegan! Including the cake. I am lucky enough to live in New York, and had Kate's Joint cater it bufett style. The guests were shocked when the main course came out, they had filled up on the appetiser's while we were out having our photos taken. They loved that so much, that they thught it was the main course! You can't stress it enough, IT'S YOUR DAY DARN IT!!! Even my mother in law (who was paying for it) had to admit that! By the way, we went Vegan on the photos too, we found an all digital wedding photographer. He was so good, our non-veg friends ae checking him out for their weddings!
Hi Petertheartist, I live in NY too and planing to have an all vege wedding, nobody in my family and his family is vegetarian so they all not seen too happy and nobody is supporting about this vege wedding idea. It looks like you had a great vegan wedding, I appreicate if you can share the menu of your wedding, if you don't mind. Where did you have your wedding receiption that they can accept outside cater like Kate's Joint cater?

JasperKat
10-03-2007, 06:31 AM
Hana, I might be wrong but I don't think that petertheartist posts here any longer. You could call Kate's Joint and ask them for reception sites and menu ideas, maybe?

-JK

shananigans
10-03-2007, 09:23 AM
Miso - Your dress sounds so cool! And I like your website :) You and your hubby-to-be look so great together, you are adorable! :)

We have registries (I love kitchen toys!), but I would also like to put out a couple charities for people to make donations to if they choose. I work in fundraising, so it would be a nice nod to philanthropy. I just have to figure out which ones, I don't want to list more than 2 or 3 and I'd rather stick to smaller orgs that really need the support (not that larger orgs like WWF and PETA don't need it, but people are usually aware of them already).

Our website is still very much a work-in-progress, but it's here (http://www.shannonjason.com).

Wedding planning is much harder that I ever would have imagined, lots of fine lines and diplomacy to manage.

Miso Vegan
10-03-2007, 10:31 AM
Miso - Your dress sounds so cool! And I like your website :) You and your hubby-to-be look so great together, you are adorable! :)
Thanks! We actually are already married (this past June) so if you read the Wedding Follow-Along thread you'll see more updated info and links to pictures (like the completed dress).


I would also like to put out a couple charities for people to make donations to if they choose. I work in fundraising, so it would be a nice nod to philanthropy. I just have to figure out which ones, I don't want to list more than 2 or 3 and I'd rather stick to smaller orgs that really need the support
That's why I did the pig sanctuary and my son's school. I figured if people feel better about a known, big-name org they can choose my third option (Doctors without Borders) but most people in the end either split their donation 3-ways, or went with the two smaller org's.


Our website is still very much a work-in-progress, but it's here (http://www.shannonjason.com).

Wedding planning is much harder that I ever would have imagined, lots of fine lines and diplomacy to manage.

That's a great website - I love the family photos! if you don't have your dress, check out Threadhead Creations.

And, yes, much harder & more time consuming than I imagined. Soooo many details you won't even know to think about. As JaskperKat said to me, it's not that you care about the color of the napkins, but someone's gotta make that decision, and that person will be you.

Post your progress in the Follow-Along thread!

shananigans
10-03-2007, 11:02 AM
Forgive me I am dense :rolleyes: I should check the dates on posts, and I should have gathered from the other wedding thread that you are aldready married.

I'll go check out the follow-along thread, thanks!

nicelyksilk7
10-08-2007, 04:34 PM
If i had a wedding it would totally be all vegan..my reasons ::rolleyes:

#1. reduces or maybe even wipes out the chances of food poisoning.
#2. Its good for u:happy:
#3. Its YUm um Ummy:silly:
#4. no fuzzy wuzzys would have to be sacrificed.;)
#5. Its good for u...lol

ITS THE WAY TO BE!!! just like drug free.lol:laugh:

Catherine teh Vegan
02-17-2008, 10:33 PM
My wedding would be 100% vegan and hopefully evironmently friendly.

moineaubleu
04-17-2008, 04:39 AM
My partner and I are currently in the planning process for our August wedding. His catholic, portuguese family has thus far proved to be a bit of an issue as far as the food goes. We have compromised enough on some wedding issues (bigger, more traditional and more religious than we'd wanted), and we're not willing to compromise on having a vegan meal. I am vegan, he is not, but completely supports my desire to have a wedding that represents our beliefs, regardless of whether or not they are shared by our guests.

It is a bit of an obstacle for us because our parents are pretty much paying for the wedding, and his mom had planned to take care of the costs associated with the reception, food, etc. Of course, this means she thinks she has a say in what is being served and it seems laughable to everyone else that you wouldn't cater to your guests (i.e. serve meat like everyone expects). I'm all for catering to my guests, but not at the expense of my own values. I find it frustrating that because my beliefs are based on personal ethics rather than on some laws handed down from on high that they are not valid enough for some people.

Screw that, I say! I'm going to have a wedding that I will look back on proudly, not one that will make me sad about how much I compromised my beliefs.

It is challenging, and oh, so worth it. :) We're working with the hotel that is doing our reception to create a special vegan entree for our wedding. They've never done an entirely vegan wedding before, but they're being very accomodating and I hope we'll end up with something that will wow our guests and they won't miss the meat for one meal.

Good luck to anyone else planning a veg wedding. :)

shananigans
04-17-2008, 09:18 AM
Congratulations moineaubleu!

I'm planning a wedding right now with sort of similar situation. At first everyone was really fighting me on the no meat thing, but in the end we are having a vegetarian/mostly vegan (one cheese appetizer and optional cheese on the salad) reception. However there will be meat at the rehearsal dinner. :sick: I'm not happy about it, but honestly the whole thing is kind of wearing me down and I was getting sick of people yelling at me for being so judgmental and pushing my values on others. :rolleyes: If our families wouldn't have disowned us I would have preferred to elope, but at least I was able to get mostly what I wanted from the wedding anyway. Ain't no way everyone's gonna be happy with everything in these things, so compromising happens.

Be sure to check out the Official VRF Vegan Wedding Follow-Along Thread (http://www.plantbasedpeople.com/showthread.php?t=10887) :happy:

Miso Vegan
04-17-2008, 10:34 AM
Congratulations moineaubleu, and good luck with the menu and all the other details!

JasperKat
04-17-2008, 04:33 PM
Miso, I see you! Awesome pic, you look like a very happy family :love:

-JK

Miso Vegan
04-17-2008, 08:22 PM
:blush: Thanks! I think they did a good job.

moineaubleu
04-17-2008, 08:39 PM
Congratulations moineaubleu!

I'm planning a wedding right now with sort of similar situation. At first everyone was really fighting me on the no meat thing, but in the end we are having a vegetarian/mostly vegan (one cheese appetizer and optional cheese on the salad) reception. However there will be meat at the rehearsal dinner. :sick: I'm not happy about it, but honestly the whole thing is kind of wearing me down and I was getting sick of people yelling at me for being so judgmental and pushing my values on others. :rolleyes: If our families wouldn't have disowned us I would have preferred to elope, but at least I was able to get mostly what I wanted from the wedding anyway. Ain't no way everyone's gonna be happy with everything in these things, so compromising happens.

Be sure to check out the Official VRF Vegan Wedding Follow-Along Thread (http://www.plantbasedpeople.com/showthread.php?t=10887) :happy:
We're having meat at our rehersal dinner too...it just can't be helped. Although we are having it at one of our favourite restaurants that serves local, organic produce and meat, so it makes it slightly more tolerable.
Also, as is traditional with my fiances portuguese family, at the wedding after the meal, later into the evening, there is a late lunch served (finger foods, veggies, fruit, dainties, etc.) and having animal items for that was our compromise for having a vegan meal. There are several portuguese finger foods that have animal products in them, and this was our sway factor for convincing everyone to let us have the vegan meal. A little give and little shove sometimes when dealing with family!

Good luck with the rest of your plans!

edennforever
04-23-2008, 09:50 PM
I would say all vegan.
Besides, it's my special day, I should not need to be worried about providing dead animal carcasses to my guests. They should come to celebrate my day, not decide based on whether there would be meat/dairy served or not. If that was a deciding factor, they would not be the friends I thought they were.

This. But I do not plan on getting married for a long, long time, if I get married at all....
And congratulations, moineaubleu!

kaylie likes plurr
06-06-2008, 09:50 PM
i put vegan for me and veg for everyone else.
but then i thought about it, and was like hmm really? i'll be THAT considerate?
then i read the posts and was like eff it, it's for ME haha
too bad i can't undo my poll thinger :[

Miso Vegan
06-06-2008, 10:47 PM
too bad i can't undo my poll thinger :[

Don't worry, I'm pretty sure VRF poll responses are not legally binding, so don't let your future guests try to hold you to it.

kaylie likes plurr
06-06-2008, 10:48 PM
hahaha :laugh: :p

Emiloid
06-07-2008, 02:34 PM
I can change your vote, but it will look to you like you still voted your original way. I mean, that's the choice that will be italicized on your screen. You wanna I should do it?

kaylie likes plurr
06-09-2008, 03:48 PM
yes por favor ^_^

veganlove02
06-19-2008, 02:52 PM
Our wedding and reception were vegan. We had the wedding one day, with a vegan cake my mom made, and the reception was 3 weeks later, entirely catered by a friend (who was/is not vegan!). It was wonderful and amazing. I need to remember what the foods were. I remy she did mini vegan quiches, bbq "meat"balls, veggies & hummus. I can't remy what else tho. :confused:

kaylie likes plurr
06-19-2008, 07:52 PM
jealous. haha
i wish my mom would make me a vegan cake when i get married.
totally NOT going to happen >_< :laugh:

eversosweet1013
09-30-2008, 04:30 AM
i'm not getting married ANY time soon, but i've given this topic a lot of thought over time...

ideally, it'd be completely vegan. however, if the person i end up marrying is omni, i guess i wouldn't feel comfortable forcing it to be vegan. best case scenario, he'd respect my feelings on it enough to eat a vegan meal for one day. i just can't stand the thought of contributing to hundreds of people mowing down on dead animals at my expense. :brood:

my other fear with having a vegan wedding is that people will be too afraid to try things, and much of the food will go to waste.

this was my thought:

rather than offering the typical "beef, chicken, or vegetarian" on the reply forms, offering different "themed" meals, like italian, indian, chinese, thai, etc etc with a brief description of what each theme consists of. i think that would be helpful in minimizing the waste of food, and assuring guests that they will have a filling, delicious meal with no surprises.

thoughts/opinions?

Miso Vegan
09-30-2008, 10:31 AM
That would cause the caterer to charge you lots of money. An easier solution is a buffet.

Nearly every guest at our wedding at least tried the vegan food. But as a theoretical exercise, I'd say I'd rather have vegan food go to waste than animal food go to anyone's stomach.

tin can
09-30-2008, 11:05 AM
Check it out. (http://www.flickr.com/photos/23625485@N04/sets/72157607545577997/)

Miso Vegan
09-30-2008, 11:36 AM
Lovely! And looks intimate and sweet.

kaylie likes plurr
09-30-2008, 11:45 AM
mmm miso i agree.
you cant change the flesh in someones stomach
but you can at least take home the left overs. mmm

&whos wedding is that? is that yours tincan?
its beautiful..and the desserts look freaken divine. mmm

tin can
09-30-2008, 01:06 PM
Thanks! Yes, my wedding, on Friday just gone. And the chocolate torte was delicious!

kaylie likes plurr
09-30-2008, 01:10 PM
omg congratulations!!!!!!

eversosweet1013
09-30-2008, 01:27 PM
That would cause the caterer to charge you lots of money. An easier solution is a buffet.

i'd narrow it down to 3 choices, but i think plated meals add a touch of class (i'm the typical girly girl who wants the big fancy wedding:rolleyes:), which is why i thought of the themed meals. i work a lot of wedding receptions at the restaurant i work at, so "my wedding" constantly runs through my head.

congrats tin can, the wedding looked very elegant! and that chocolate torte sure did look appetizing!

Miso Vegan
09-30-2008, 07:15 PM
i'd narrow it down to 3 choices, but i think plated meals add a touch of class (i'm the typical girly girl who wants the big fancy wedding:rolleyes:), which is why i thought of the themed meals.

Well, I disagree about plated meals adding class, because one could have a very nice, fancy buffet, and a really crappy plate of food. In other words, the "class" doesn't come from the plate, it comes from the overall presentation and mood you set.

But, it's your wedding so do it as you want - just expect to pay more. Because there's a difference between 3 meals when 2 or 3 of the options have the same side dishes, and 3 themed meals in which every part of the dish is different from the others. The caterer would have to have 2-3 times more options prepared (Spanish rice for the Mexican plate, basmati rice for the Indian, and so on), so that means more of all the tools and more servers; would not be able to cook in the larger quantities that cut costs; and would have to have a little extra of each option for people who change their mind when they see what their table-mates are served, which could increase waste.


eta: I don't mean to rain on your parade. I think the themed plates is a lovely idea, I just wanted to warn you that I think that will make the food cost more - and it's usually the most expensive part already. But then, what's a few more thousand?!

bluedawg
09-30-2008, 07:19 PM
tin can, congratulations! i love your dress!

tin can
10-01-2008, 04:55 AM
tin can, congratulations! i love your dress!
Thanks!! Er, but that would be girl can's dress.... I'm the other one! :D

JasperKat
10-01-2008, 05:55 AM
Thanks!! Er, but that would be girl can's dress.... I'm the other one! :D

:silly: You both look lovely ;) And that torte looks sooo good.

Congratulations!

-JK

bluedawg
10-01-2008, 01:57 PM
Thanks!! Er, but that would be girl can's dress.... I'm the other one! :D

HA!! i'm soooo sorry; i was petrified that was going to happen because it occurred to me that i didn't know if you were the bride or the groom! and all of the pictures were labeled 'helen this' and 'chris that' so that was no help. ;) okay, well tell your bride that i love her dress, and you look smashing as well! :kiss:

tin can
10-01-2008, 02:23 PM
lol, no worries, totally understandable! And thank you everyone for your kind words. :kiss: We did have a really nice day - which was a bit unexpected, we thought it was gonna be pretty cringeworthy.

kaylie likes plurr
12-29-2008, 10:29 PM
*bump* tell me more tell me more

lisa75
12-30-2008, 06:46 PM
I'm going to have an all vegan wedding when I get married.

LesMiserablesLove
12-30-2008, 07:26 PM
Since I became a facilities assistant for my college's conference services office, I have seen at least 20 rehearsals and weddings. Through part-time catering work, I have also worked at approx. 15 wedding receptions. (None vegan, but one had a baked potato buffet dinner!) In all this time of watching the bride walk down the aisle and welcoming in guests, I've realized that weddings are not the magical days you imagine. There is always last minute fussing, missed cues, and in the end, all weddings are basically the same format. And all for a load of money and a dress that goes into the closet. On top of that, when you've been living with your partner for a few years, marriage doesn't really bring anything new into the situation. You're just finally allowed to say wife/husband and have people take your relationship seriously.

For those reasons, I've decided that if I ever get married, I want a small civil ceremony (parents, siblings, best friends) and a vegan buffet at our favorite Indian restuarant. Very simple. Not much money. No hurt feelings.

kaylie likes plurr
12-30-2008, 10:36 PM
i originally posted vegan for me vegetarian for everyone else-
but i KNOW for a fact it'll all be vegan.
i did that when I FIRST went vegan and was still all weird and self consious about it :p

That One Guy
01-19-2009, 08:04 AM
We will have so many goodies that there won't be a problem. It is our wedding. It is our day. Funerals are for those in attendance. weddings are for the couple getting married.

michiganveganchick
01-19-2009, 12:05 PM
We will have so many goodies that there won't be a problem. It is our wedding. It is our day. Funerals are for those in attendance. weddings are for the couple getting married.

:yes: nice. when are you getting married?

That One Guy
01-19-2009, 12:13 PM
:yes: nice. when are you getting married?
My fiancee is shooting for July. So, I guess that's when it is. We're still discussing it, though.It's really important to both of us. So,we are stil figuring out certain details before we send out the invites.

So far, it WILL be vegan and the men in the wedding party WILL wear kilts!

It's an Irish/Scott thing...:D

Thank God for Vital wheat gluten and textured soy protein. I really like shepherds pie and corned beef and cabbage,...and Mexican food. All of which she prepares very well.(and teaching me, too!)

michiganveganchick
01-19-2009, 12:15 PM
Thank God for Vital wheat gluten and textured soy protein. I really like shepherds pie and corned beef and cabbage,...and Mexican food. All of which she prepares very well.(and teaching me, too!)

It sounds lovely. Are you and your fiancee cooking all the food yourself? That's very cool (and very ambitious!).

That One Guy
01-19-2009, 05:09 PM
It sounds lovely. Are you and your fiancee cooking all the food yourself? That's very cool (and very ambitious!).

That is a definite maybe. I think she has a line on a local vegan chef. But, it may just be a pipe dream. She has plenty of vegetarian friends I'm hoping will pitch in. But, if we gotta do it, we will. Like I said, this is OUR day!:D

kaylie likes plurr
01-19-2009, 05:58 PM
:D awe this is cute :D

That One Guy
01-19-2009, 06:38 PM
:D awe this is cute :D

:cool:I reckon.

Years ago I would've gagged at this sort of thing:yuck:. But, I guess I believe in LUV.:smitten:

It sure beats a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.

kaylie likes plurr
01-19-2009, 07:05 PM
hahahha

bramble
01-19-2009, 10:02 PM
That is a definite maybe. I think she has a line on a local vegan chef. But, it may just be a pipe dream. She has plenty of vegetarian friends I'm hoping will pitch in. But, if we gotta do it, we will. Like I said, this is OUR day!:D

:idea:

i could bake lots and lots of vegan cupcakes

http://www.westchester-weddings.com/images/Cakes/cupcake_tree/oncalecake.jpg

That One Guy
01-19-2009, 10:11 PM
:idea:

i could bake lots and lots of vegan cupcakes

http://www.westchester-weddings.com/images/Cakes/cupcake_tree/oncalecake.jpg

Wedding cupcakes,...too cool! That should be fairly easy to clean up. And equal portions for everybody!

Aubergine
01-21-2009, 06:33 PM
Congrats to all the other vegan newlyweds and new engaged!!!!

I just recently got engaged to my boyfriend of 5 1/2 years. :silly: He's not vegan himself but he's all for a vegan wedding, which I know my mother will not be happy about but oh well. We're shooting for July 2010 (our 7 year anniversary) but it's going to be a matter of if our finances allow us to and if I can find a job once I graduate in May. Otherwise it will probably be the following July in 2011 unless we decided to have it sooner b/c he can't wait, haha.

Miso Vegan
01-21-2009, 06:48 PM
Congrats!!!! I have very fond memories of my vegan wedding, it was lovely. :yes:

That One Guy
01-21-2009, 09:00 PM
Congrats to all the other vegan newlyweds and new engaged!!!!

I just recently got engaged to my boyfriend of 5 1/2 years. :silly: He's not vegan himself but he's all for a vegan wedding, which I know my mother will not be happy about but oh well. We're shooting for July 2010 (our 7 year anniversary) but it's going to be a matter of if our finances allow us to and if I can find a job once I graduate in May. Otherwise it will probably be the following July in 2011 unless we decided to have it sooner b/c he can't wait, haha.

Congratulations.

La Végétalienne
01-22-2009, 08:26 PM
This thread has lots of great advice on where to find just about every aspect of a vegan wedding, but there's one thing missing.
Anybody got any ideas about where to find a vegan groom?!
The Vegan Partners (http://www.plantbasedpeople.com/showthread.php?t=3949) thread seemed like a good place to start, but no one seems to be offering any free for shipping...

Miso Vegan
01-22-2009, 09:33 PM
:laugh:


oh, sorry. Not funny.


There are a lot in Seattle!

DyeDecay
03-18-2009, 11:38 PM
I just had an all vegan wedding... no one noticed. Even the rehersal dinner was vegan... everyone loved it! As a vegan, I do not purchase or prepare non- vegan food for other people.

Dugan
03-18-2009, 11:44 PM
Congratulations!

La Végétalienne
03-19-2009, 10:57 AM
Saw the following advertisement for "green" wedding rings and other jewelry:

Treading Lightly on the Earth - In Sync with Vegan Values
with a link to a company called GreenKarat (http://www.greenkarat.com/). I couldn't find anything about veganism on their website, but they do seem sincere in their commitment to environmental and human rights issues.

Ariann
03-19-2009, 11:04 AM
GreenKarat is cool. We bought our bands from Leber jewelers, from their recycled gold line (no stones).

http://www.leberjeweler.com/index.php3

Oatmeal Girl
03-19-2009, 02:16 PM
La Veg, I think there are quite a few posts about GreenKarat around here. I've never heard anything bad about them and I plan on shopping with them! In fact, this is my engagement ring: http://www.greenkarat.com/detail.asp?product_id=RCG005

Ok, so it's not quite mine...yet ;)

bluedawg
03-22-2009, 09:33 PM
okay, this is the second time i've seen you mention your wedding/engagement ring in the past few days (once here, and once in person). is there something going on that i don't know about?

Oatmeal Girl
03-23-2009, 10:40 AM
It's in the works. ;)

To not be flippant- it's a topic of conversation, but nothing's super official besides that I know he plans to propose eventually. Just a lot of "What would our last names be? How many guests do you plan on having? Where would we live?"

When I know, you'll know! :)

kaylie likes plurr
03-23-2009, 08:46 PM
yey!!!! :happy:

Emiloid
03-24-2009, 09:38 PM
Good luck, Oatmeal Girl! :)


I just had an all vegan wedding... no one noticed. Even the rehersal dinner was vegan... everyone loved it! As a vegan, I do not purchase or prepare non- vegan food for other people.
That's great! I'm also uncomfortable providing non-vegan food for people. I'm sure if/when I get married, any food will be 100% vegan. It would just have to be! (However, I undertand that other people have different pressures than I would.)

Oatmeal Girl
03-26-2009, 10:01 PM
Thanks, Emiloid!

BTW, this may have already been mentioned and if it was, I apologize, but this blog is jam-packed with nifty wedding ideas: http://offbeatbride.com/ I love it!

jennakirkman
04-03-2009, 02:39 PM
there are so many vegan foods to include in your wedding.

i think the food that my non-vegan family and friends love the most is cupcakes! you can find some REALLY delicious cakes and cupcakes that would be classy, and cute, at a wedding, and your guests will never know the difference.

squirrel
05-18-2009, 02:48 PM
I'm not going to a vegan wedding or anything, just wanted to boast that my wonderful friend is making sure they have a vegan paella (sp?) dish prepared just for me at her wedding. :heart:

Miso Vegan
05-18-2009, 03:23 PM
:drool: paella :drool:
A very good friend!

squirrel
05-19-2009, 10:30 AM
Yes I hope it's good. It was that, or grilled shishkabobs or jambalaya....

VeganVigilante
05-20-2009, 05:14 PM
Has anyone ever heard of/been to The White Pig?

I am getting married on June 5th, and I made reservations for two nights there. It's an animal sanctuary, mostly for pot-bellied pigs, that serves completely vegan food. It sits on 170 acres and offers hiking trails for guests. It's close to Charlottesville, VA, which is about 3.5 hours away from where I live.

A new friend of mine suggested it yesterday, and I thought it was a long shot to try and get reservations for just a couple of weeks away. I went on the website (thewhitepig.com), made some calls, and now my fiance and I are all set to have some r&r at the b&b.

In addition to going there, we are set to visit Sticky Fingers Bakery in Washington D.C. a day before to pick up a cake and some other goodies.

This will be the best weekend EVER! :heart:

VegeTexan
05-20-2009, 05:28 PM
Congrats on your upcoming wedding, V V. I have read about The White Pig before, it sounds like a good place to honeymoon.

Miso Vegan
05-20-2009, 07:49 PM
That's going to be wonderful!!

KaliMama
05-20-2009, 08:43 PM
That sounds like a lovely vegan wedding weekend! :heart:

Emiloid
05-20-2009, 09:05 PM
Congratulations, Vegan Vigilante! That sounds like a blast.

I'd never heard of it before, but I'm going to recommend The White Pig to a friend who lives in VA.

VeganVigilante
05-20-2009, 10:52 PM
Thank you, Everyone! :D

KaliMama
09-01-2009, 01:01 AM
What is the National Marriage Boycott? (http://marriageboycott.ning.com/page/what-is-the-national-marriage)

Though this organization is new, the issue is one that deadlyhead and I have discussed at length. We both feel that marriage should be a civil matter, and that any parties who wish to should be able to enter into a marriage contract, or not. We've decided to support the boycott, and we'll be getting "married" in a celebration with friends and family here at the dharma farm, probably next summer, but we're not getting hitched legal-style.


We won't, until we all can.

(from the NMB petition (http://www.stanford.edu/group/emma_goldman/cgi-bin/site/index.php/marriage-boycott))

We're getting these rings (http://marriageboycott.ning.com/page/get-a-ring), but haven't decided yet if they'll be our "wedding rings."

La Végétalienne
09-01-2009, 01:11 AM
we'll be getting "married" in a celebration with friends and family here at the dharma farm, probably next summer, but we're not getting hitched legal-style.
Dandelion, get the Mystery Machine ready!

KaliMama
09-01-2009, 01:52 AM
:yes: A vegan hoedown will do nicely as a reception. :)

Calliope
09-01-2009, 02:50 AM
Those rings are cool, Kalimama. I can see myself doing something similar should I every be in a marriageable type relationship. I can't wait to explain that to my ultra-conservative minister of a father who is 100% against gay marriage. :rolleyes: That's be a fun convo.....

tin can
09-01-2009, 03:19 AM
:thumbsup: to all of the above. *wonders what time off he can have next summer* :heart::heart::heart:

Ariann
09-01-2009, 08:22 AM
Coolness, Kali. :)

squirrel
09-01-2009, 09:01 AM
Cool!!!! I can't open the ring link at work. :(

matriarco
09-01-2009, 09:23 AM
What is the National Marriage Boycott? (http://marriageboycott.ning.com/page/what-is-the-national-marriage)

Though this organization is new, the issue is one that deadlyhead and I have discussed at length. We both feel that marriage should be a civil matter, and that any parties who wish to should be able to enter into a marriage contract, or not. We've decided to support the boycott, and we'll be getting "married" in a celebration with friends and family here at the dharma farm, probably next summer, but we're not getting hitched legal-style.



I've thought about this a lot. It's not like I'm at the end of that thinking, but here's what I think right now:

I'm not one who's super into marriage in general and am only interested in it personally because I plan to adopt children, which is much easier to do when you're married. I agree that anyone who wishes to should be able to marry. I'm not convinced, though, that couples who can marry (including same-sex couples in some states) choosing not to marry furthers marriage rights for everyone. It seem to me that being in a marriage and saying, "I am married and do not feel threatened by same-sex marriage" has power because it helps keep "marriage" from being something that people opposed to same-sex marriage claim and define.

One question I would have of a campaign like NMB is, "Who would be upset that we/you didn't get married?"

My dude suggested as an alternative that couples could go get married in states where same-sex marriages are legal and put out a press release saying, "We've come to this state to get married because we like that it recognizes and provides same-sex marriages."

KaliMama
09-01-2009, 09:35 AM
I completely agree that the boycott is largely a symbolic act, and maybe the petition as well. What we came to realize was that we simply are not okay with availing ourselves of the privilege of marriage and all of its benefits when others are denied it. Also, we have a moral problem with the state granting privileges to people because they decide to participate in a social/cultural/religious ceremony.

KaliMama
09-01-2009, 09:43 AM
P.S. Also, I like your ideas for advocating change. And I don't mean to turn the weddings thread into an anti-marriage thread! :umm: :embarr: We are having an anti-marriage wedding! :confused: :laugh:

matriarco
09-01-2009, 09:45 AM
What we came to realize was that we simply are not okay with availing ourselves of the privilege of marriage and all of its benefits when others are denied it. Also, we have a moral problem with the state granting privileges to people because they decide to participate in a social/cultural/religious ceremony.

I'm not ok with that, either. It makes me much less likely to get married. I'm trying to balance that against the desire to adopt children when I already have a lot working against me (i.e. being vegan, not having a large income). Being able to adopt is a privilege related to marriage but it's also providing a home for, in my case, children who may not otherwise have one, because I'm willing to adopt children with behavior disorders and drug exposure. Hence the still thinking about all of this.

It's also weird to me that the state then gets to decide if you're allowed to end your marriage contract, usually through a process of sharing personal details of your life in a public setting (the courtroom) with strangers.

Mods, is there a thread more about this? A thread about same-sex marriage? I feel like I'm really off-topic in this thread.

KaliMama
03-03-2010, 01:31 AM
I started a new thread here, future visitors: Unmarried, Marriage-Free, Boycotting Marriage, Same Sex Marriage... (http://www.plantbasedpeople.com/showthread.php?t=16599)

Back to weddings...I came across a couple of interesting and possibly helpful articles about vegan wedding planning:

This vegan's wedding pointers (http://www.examiner.com/x-4348-Phoenix-Vegan-Examiner~y2009m7d22-This-vegans-wedding-pointers)

Vegan wedding series: working with caterers (http://www.examiner.com/x-4348-Phoenix-Vegan-Examiner~y2009m8d12-Vegan-wedding-series-working-with-caterers)

KaliMama
03-03-2010, 01:43 AM
Plantable Paper Flowers - Custom Handmade Wedding Favors (http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=40944884)